


Love is a Long Road

by Celosia



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Big Gay Love Story, Boys In Love, Canon LGBTQ Character, College, Drama, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Friendship/Love, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Love, Love Story, Love at First Sight, M/M, Major Original Character(s), Multi, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, Original Fiction, Original Universe, Romance, Slice of Life, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Sports, True Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 07:16:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18177548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celosia/pseuds/Celosia
Summary: Some might call it a lifelong friendship. Others, a passionate platonic devotion. But Willem knew the situation for what it really was and what it always had been: unrequited love. Over a decade had passed since their first introduction, and he had fallen. It was only during those first couple of weeks at the university that Willem had realized that he had missed his chance... That he should've acted sooner...~In the end, Mathias supposed that none of it really mattered though, not when Willem didn't feel the same. After all, why else would he constantly be trying to tell him to fix things with Lukas? And yet every time that he kept going to Willem for advice, Mathias kept expecting a different answer. Maybe it was stupid or naive, but even after everything that had happened and that continued to happen, Mathias still had hope..





	1. Willem

Some might call it a lifelong friendship. Others, a passionate platonic devotion. But Willem knew the situation for what it really was and what it always had been: unrequited love.

Over a decade had passed since their first introduction, and he had fallen. Hard and fast. It had been that simple for him, even from such a young age, to know that this was the one person that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Those feelings had only grown stronger with time and with each letter that they had sent to one another over the years. Letters progressed to emails. Emails progressed to texting and phone calls. And in time, those turned into video chats.

Each level that was added only caused Willem’s emotions to multiply. Each new fact that was gleaned from their conversations was carefully stored away as a precious moments. Each new moment that they spent talking with one another was enough to cause his heart to race in his chest. He had always yearned for the next text, the next call, the next moment that they would spend together.

If only the distance hadn’t been a factor at all, then he would have had the courage to express the emotions that he had kept bottled up inside for all of those years. He would’ve expressed how he felt, and then they would’ve been happy together. Because now… Now that they were going to the same university together to be able to actually spend time around each other in person…

It was only during those first couple of weeks at the university that Willem had realized that he had missed his chance… That he should’ve acted sooner…

His heart had felt like it had shattered that day, and he had been suffering in silence ever since. There was nobody that he dared turn to, nobody that he trusted enough to let into that broken part of him. He refused to even confide in his sister once she had arrived at the same university two years later. He knew that she would never understand what he was going through and that she would only have tried to stick her nose where it didn’t belong. Besides, why allow someone to try to fix something that didn’t have a cure in the first place?

For all of his outward stoic appearances, his heart had been a fragile little thing. Nobody had been aware of his feelings before, and he certainly wasn’t going to start divulging them now. His feelings were his own, and he owed that to no one.

Art was enough of a solace for him. He didn’t need other people. It was the purest expression of his emotions. Even though anybody who saw his art never understood it, it was his outlet for all of the bottled up emotions that he held within him. It never stopped the heartache completely though, and even despite how much he sometimes wished it would, his love never faded.

However, just because he himself chose not to divulge his emotions or relationship drama (or lack thereof) to everyone around him, it didn’t stop other people from doing the same in return. More specifically, the guys that he was on the soccer team with tended to be the source of this particular bane of his. Even now, Willem could feel the tight thrum of a headache creeping up the backs of his eyes and into his temples.

Regardless of how much it pained him to listen, this was still one of his friends that was hurting, his roommate, and even though he may not outwardly or openly show it, Willem still cared. He cared more than he would ever let even himself believe.

“I just don’t understand what I did wrong this time…” Mathias mumbled, eyebrows furrowed together above a pair of bright blue eyes as they jogged laps around the field, the rays of the sun beating down against the backs of their necks. “It seems like Lukas just gets mad at every little thing that he thinks isn’t right, and then he takes it out on me by taking all of his stuff. He ignores all my phone calls and texts and even blatantly ignores me whenever we’re at hockey practice together, besides trying to nail me with the puck. But then a few days later, he’s back to talking to me and telling me how much he’s sorry and that he misses me and that he never meant to leave and that he didn’t mean any of it and that he still wants us to be together and that he didn’t know what came over him. He does it every single time, and it’s honestly driving me a bit crazy with as moody as he’s been being recently,” Mathias finished with a wide gesture of his arms before they fell to his sides as he hung his head in exhaustion.

Willem sighed gently, shaking his head as he slid his fingers back through his gel-spiked hair. It was a motion half in exasperation and half in resignation. “Matt…”

“I would just dump his ass and tell him to move on!” called one of the other team members, a German student named Gillian, as he ran past the pair. “He’s no good for you, Matt!”

At those words, Mathias’s pace stuttered and a frown began to form on his face. Willem could see it for what it really was though: hesitation and fear, even though Mathias would never admit to being anything but fully confident and happy.

Shooting Gillian a glare that caused the other student to speed up along the track, Willem pulled Mathias over to the side with a frown and placed a hand on the other’s shoulder. “Look, I have no right to interfere in your relationship or tell you what to do or what to say or how to act or any of that. Your relationship is with Lukas and Lukas alone. He’s the one that you should be talking to about all of this. If you… If you really want to be with him and you respect him… Then you should keep your relationship between the two of you and communicate everything that you’re feeling to him. That’s the only way that you’d end up fixing things.”

Mathias opened his mouth as if to say something before shaking his head, his expression becoming pensive. Willem took that as a sign for him to continue talking.

“If you start bringing other people’s opinions into the relationship, then it all starts devolving into a  _my friends said this_  or  _my friends said that_  contest, where it becomes more about what everybody else thinks rather than what the two people in the relationship think and feel about each other.” Willem raised his free hand and pointed over in Gillian’s direction where the white-haired man was mingling with a group of some of the other soccer players on the other side of the field. “That’s exactly what that was. And there will be plenty of other people who will try to put their opinions in your ear.” Willem let both of his hands fall to his sides and looked away, his voice becoming distant as a familiar tight pain clenched his chest. “And if you really… If you care about Lukas… And if you value the relationship between you both, then it would be better to talk everything out with him.”

Not that he really expected Lukas to end up giving Mathias the same courtesy in return. After all, Willem had met the guy, and there was just something about Lukas that gave him red flags that made his skin crawl when he was around him. It was something in his demeanor and the way in which he carried himself. It gave Willem the impression of nothing short of an arrogant, pompous, conceited  _child_  who felt entitled to everything and then proceeding to throw a  _tantrum_  and throw things or beat people up when he didn’t get his way.

Maybe he was just biased though, since most other people that were outside of the soccer team’s circle seemed to think that Lukas was this outstanding guy. Willem knew better though. He knew so much better than anyone else the damage that Lukas had caused and was continuing to cause upon the people that he cared about. Willem had been the sole witness to the bruisings and depressive episodes that Mathias had gone through because of that  _bastard._

Mathias deserved better.

And it only hurt Willem’s heart even more to see Mathias force a smile in front of everybody else and pretend that there was nothing wrong with the world. It hurt that Mathias felt that he was the only person that he could come to about anything and everything while he had to hide what he was feeling from everybody else. But the real killer was that it hurt Willem that he couldn’t be there for Mathias in the ways that he wished that he could be.

Oblivious to the other’s inner turmoil, a wide grin spread across Mathias’s face that lit up his eyes as he wrapped an arm around Willem’s shoulders to pull him into a quick hug and not seeming to notice the way that Willem tensed up slightly under the contact. “You know you’re the best, right? Somehow you always know the exact thing to say that’ll make me feel better. I know you never say much in front of the other guys, or in front of anyone else really, but it makes me feel that much luckier that I’ve gotten to have you as a friend for so long.”

Willem blinked slowly, letting out a quiet breath in resignation and giving Mathias a gentle pat on the back. “I know… I know…” If only those words wouldn’t feel like a knife through his chest every time that he said them.

Pulling away, Mathias’s grin only grew wider as he reached up to ruffle Willem’s hair and jog away while cackling with laughter. “Come on, Ned, you slowpoke. We’ve got a practice to finish!”

For a few moments, Willem simply stood there in stunned silence with his breath caught in his throat, watching Mathias as he ran off. The way that the sunlight cast a golden sheen on his spiked honey-colored hair. The way that some of the longer sections of his hair clung to his sweat-dampened forehead. The way that his blue eyes sparkled with mirth as he laughed.

It was a sight that touched his artistic muse and could’ve broken his heart with how beautiful that Mathias was in that moment. If only his heart wasn’t already broken...

He pressed the heels of his hands against his burning eyes, fending off unwanted tears that had threatened to spring up. Rubbing his face, he grimaced with a sigh and jogged towards the other side of the field where the rest of the team were congregating as they finished their warm-ups.

He was tired. So tired. It felt like every part of his being had been drained, and all he wanted to do was sleep to gain whatever solace that the quiet darkness of unconsciousness could provide.

However, there was a smaller part of him that wanted to paint, to draw, to feel the familiar weight and textures of his brushes and pencils in his hands. There was that unexplainable need to create an explosion of color and infuse his emotions into the canvas. It was his therapy. It was what he needed after a day like today. It was one of the few ways that he could let himself go and to let out all of the emotions that he had kept bottled up for so long.

Everything else seemed like an exhausting chore in comparison.

Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Goal.

The weight of each kick of the soccer ball felt like a brick being added to his shoulders. It was a dull, monotonous rhythm that would’ve put him to sleep if it hadn’t been for the fact that he had to attempt to keep himself from being run into by the other team members that were on the field.

Left. Right. Left. Left. Right. Left. Pass.

At the very least, no one could tell that anything was wrong with Willem or that his head wasn’t in the practice game, that way he didn’t have to worry about answering anyone’s questions. Then again, nobody ever noticed when there was…

A chorus of cheers erupted from around him as Antonio scored the winning goal for their team’s match just a split-second before the final alarm went off to signify the end of the practice session. Antonio was one of the new talents that had just joined the team that year, and with his easy-going attitude and impeccable footwork, he had quickly become one of the favorites on the team.

That didn’t mean that Willem liked him. However, that might’ve been simply because of some of his own personal prejudices and protective nature over his younger sister, whom Antonio happened to be dating. It made his skin crawl just to think of somebody being around his sister, and perhaps that had ended up making Willem be a bit more hostile towards the male than he deserved.

That didn’t seem to deter Antonio from trying to make friends with his girlfriend’s older brother.

“Hey, Willem!” Antonio exclaimed, seeming to pop up behind the taller man out of nowhere as Willem stalked towards the edge of the field where his duffel bag was. “Did you see that last shot,  _mi hombre_? I can’t believe I nailed it on the final second, especially with Gillian blocking the way. It was-- It was  _increíble_!”

Willem simply grunted in response, his shoulders tense from the proximity of the other man and casting a glare in his direction. It didn’t even phase Antonio who still had a ridiculously wide grin on his face.

However, it wasn’t until a few moments later when an petite arm looped itself around his right arm that Willem realized that Antonio’s smile hadn’t been directed towards him at all.

“Hey, big bro,” came the unmistakable delicate sing-song voice of his younger sister. “You guys were awesome out there. Especially you,  _mon amour_ ,” she said as she let go of her brother in order to nestle herself comfortably into Antonio’s outstretched arms, her shoulder-length honey-blonde curls bouncing with the movement. “You just keep doing better and better each time that I see you. Your old team in Barcelona must be missing you right now.” She giggled as she stood on her toes and placed a kiss to Antonio’s cheek.

“ _Sí, sí._ They’ve definitely mentioned that they miss playing together,  _mi querida_ Annabel. But fear not, for I am never going to leave your side.” The softness in Antonio’s gaze as he gently reached up and caressed Annabel’s curls caused a sharp stab of pain in Willem’s chest.

Maybe that was his problem. Maybe he was jealous of his sister’s relationship and how much Antonio genuinely seemed to love her. From everything that he had seen since the two had been together, the man had always treated Annabel like a princess.

Some sort of emotion that he couldn’t have explained must have been showing on his face, because when Annabel looked over at him, her smile immediately faded into an expression of concern. Willem quickly turned away to scoop up his duffel bag.

Clearing her throat, Annabel reached up and patted Antonio’s cheek, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “I’ll meet you later for dinner, okay? I needed to talk to Willem about a couple of art assignments, if you don’t mind.”

He silently cursed his bad luck.

A small part of Willem had hoped that Antonio would end up protesting, but he knew that he was hoping in vain: it wasn’t in Antonio’s nature to protest to two siblings spending time together. “Of course not,  _mi hermosa._ I’ll meet you at our usual place then? Say at about six?”

“That sounds perfect,” Willem could hear Annabel saying as he started to walk away across the field with his bag in tow. “I’ll see you then!”

Of course, before Willem could even get too far away from the practice field, another obstacle presented itself as Mathias approached him once again. “Hey, Ned!” With that heartstopping smile on his face.

“Matthias,” he mumbled, wiping the back of his hand across his forehead and hitching the strap of his duffel bag more comfortably onto his shoulder.

“I just wanted to thank you for listening to me earlier, and I hope that I didn’t sound like I was whining.” Mathias chuckled. “Anyways, are you heading back to the dorm?”

“Well, actually--”

“We were just heading to the art studio, actually,” Annabel stated, cutting off Willem before he had a chance to speak.

“Oh.” Mathias tilted his head to the side slightly, a gesture that always reminded Willem of a confused puppy. Regardless of any possible confusion that Mathias felt, he didn’t miss a beat as he continued speaking. “Hey, Annabel. That’s fine. I was just going to let Ned here know that I was going to be late getting back to the dorm since I was going to take his advice and try to talk things out with Lukas.”

Willem’s heart sank at those words, the edges of his eyes prickling painfully as his shoulders sagged just the smallest fraction. It wasn’t like he expected anything different to happen, so he had nobody to blame but himself for getting his hopes up.

Annabel glanced between the pair of men that towered above her, Mathias looking excited while her brother looked...defeated and even more withdrawn than usual. “Ah, I see. Antonio and I have a date at six, but I was going to ask Willem for some pointers on a few art assignments before I headed that way. I hope that things go smoothly for you, since I know that things have been pretty rocky between you and Lukas for a while now, yeah?”

Mathias’s smile faltered for the briefest second, but Willem knew that nobody but him would notice it. “Well, it has been for a bit, I guess, but I’m sure that it’s just because of some sort of built-up stress that Lukas has been under, especially with getting sick during hockey season and trying not to lose his scholarship. I’m usually the only one that ends up being around, so I tend to end up taking the brunt of his temper, but that’s okay.”

That was the biggest bunch of bullshit that Willem had heard. He  _knew_  that wasn’t the cause of how things were. That was just how Lukas was as a person. Nothing was going to change that, and it wasn’t just one isolated incident of it either.

The corners of Annabel’s mouth twitched with concern. “He hasn’t  _hurt_  you though, has he? Because if he has--”

“Mathias!”

The resounding shout from the other side of the field made the trio jump slightly in surprise, though Mathias had a look of resignation on his face.

“Sorry, guys, but I’ve gotta run before Lukas decides to add this to the list of things I’ve done wrong.” There was only the faintest hint of sarcasm in Mathias’s voice as he rolled his eyes. With a wave of his hand to the pair of siblings, Mathias ran off.

Willem turned his back so that he wouldn’t have to see what he could only expect would be the boyfriends leaping into each other’s arms and kissing. He would’ve started walking away, but his sister still held him firm in her grip.

“Oh no you don’t, mister. You’re coming with me,” Annabel stated firmly, her free hand sliding into the pocket of the overalls that she was wearing. With her other hand, she pulled on Willem’s arm in order to drag him towards the art studio. Of course, if he had even so much as resisted the movement, she wouldn’t have been capable of even making him budge an inch. As it was, Willem was being compliant.

That didn’t mean that he was willing to talk though. He wasn’t in the mood to even begin to divulge a fraction of the dark hidden secrets and feelings that he had kept bottled up inside of him for so long.

The distance between the soccer field and the art studio was only a little over a block, but to Willem, that trek felt like an eternity. At least it had been made in silence. Annabel opened the door and gestured for him to enter the building. She followed him in, searching for an empty room before locking the door behind her.

Annabel placed her hands firmly on the table that was now between them, staring at Willem with a frown. “Look, I know that something is wrong. So please just tell me what’s bothering you. I know that it has to have something to do with Mathias and Lukas.” Willem winced. “I’m not sure exactly what it is, but I could see it. Even now. Every time that somebody says Lukas’s name, you end up looking like you want to throw up or hurl yourself out a window. It’s something that I’ve been noticing for the past six months since I came here. I just wish that you had enough sense to actually open up to someone. To open up to  _me_. I’m your  _sister_. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

The look of open hurt in Annabel’s eyes made Willem cringe internally, but all he could do was shake his head as his hands gripped the strap of his duffel bag until the tough canvas nearly cut into his hands. “There’s nothing that you need to know. Lukas is just an asshole that shouldn’t be trusted. He’s no good and you need to stay away from him before you end up getting hurt by him too. So just drop the subject.”

Annabel raised one hand to twist her fingers into the green ribbon that was tied in her hair like a headband. At first he thought that he had successfully diverted the conversation. Her voice was quiet when she spoke, and it caused a lump to form in Willem’s throat. “Lukas hurt Mathias, didn’t he? That’s why you’re getting so upset, isn’t it?”

He couldn’t help the small surge of anger that nestled itself into the base of his throat, and it took several moments for him to be able to restrain the sudden emotion enough for it to not show in his voice. “Look, it’s not my relationship and I have no right to interfere in it. It would be best if you just dropped it and moved on with your life. There are more important things for you to worry about.”

That was apparently the wrong thing for him to say, however, because Annabel puffed out her cheeks as her nose started to turn red. One of the tell-tale signs that she was on the verge of tears. “Well I wouldn’t have to worry so much if you would just open up to me, to anyone. You always keep yourself so closed off from everybody, especially recently, and you keep all your emotions bottled up to yourself, and it’s not  _healthy_ , Willem!” She pressed the tips of her fingers against her eyes and shook her head. “You always end up listening to everyone else’s problems whether you actually want to or not, but you never open up to anyone in return even after dealing with the weight of everybody’s situations, and I  _know_  that it has to be weighing down on you more than you’ll ever admit.”

“Well it’s not  _your_  problem to fix, Annabel,” he muttered dully. He loved his sister and he hated seeing her like this, but he just couldn’t risk opening up the can of worms that was his emotional turmoil. He had to protect himself at all costs, even from those he loved.

Annabel crossed her arms over her chest, looking as if she’d just had the wind kicked out of her. Her mouth opened and closed as she struggled to get out the words that she wanted, but after a few futile moments, her shoulders slumped and her eyes glistened with tears. Willem wanted to reach out and comfort his baby sister, but he couldn’t. If he did, he knew that his carefully constructed control on his emotions would shatter, so he stood idly by.

The silence stretched on for several more moments until Willem could feel the bile rising in the back of his throat from the stress, his stomach twisting in knots. “Can you at least give me advice on my art pieces while we’re here?” came the faint whisper. It eased the tension in Willem’s shoulders for the time being. It hadn’t been an admission to stop prying, because he was sure that Annabel would end up poking her nose back into the matter. However, it was enough for the moment to have the subject changed.

Releasing his grip on the strap of his bag, he slowly lowered himself onto one of the stools at the table. He kept his voice gentle when he spoke. “Yeah, I can do that…”

Annabel glanced over at him, biting her bottom lip as she nodded. Heading over to one of the cupboards, she withdrew several semi-finished canvas paintings, and Willem was patient as she discussed the assignment relating to each, what she was attempting to achieve, and what she had already done.

By the time that he was done giving her suggestions and critiquing the pieces with his artist’s eye, Annabel’s normally perky disposition had almost fully returned, though there was a slow reluctance to her movements that Willem knew was caused by her unwillingness to simply leave matters as they were. He knew that she wanted to say more on their previous discussion, but she simply thanked him and returned her works to their places, leaving soon after telling him that she didn’t want to be late for her date with Antonio.

As the door clicked quietly behind her retreating form, Willem pillowed his head in his arms. He hated this feeling. He hated feeling as though his entire soul was shattering in his chest, over and over again. It didn’t help that it felt like someone was constantly taking a sledgehammer to his chest. He wanted to cry. He could feel the tears welling up in the backs of his eyes. He knew that if he let himself though, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself, and he wasn’t up to the task of diverting every single person that he knew would end up asking him about what was wrong.

Forcing himself up off the table, Willem pushed himself into a standing position, shoulders hunched as if the weight of the world weighed down upon him. As he turned to leave, something inside him hesitated. It was an itch in the back of his mind, a tingle that made his fingers twitch with anticipation.

Resting against the wall nearby was a stack of blank canvases that students used for painting. One of the tables nearby was stacked with several cases of oil paint tubes, containers of paint brushes, palettes, and other miscellaneous artist’s tools. Placing his duffel bag on the floor by his stool, Willem shuffled over to cases of paints, gently running his fingers along the tubes of colors.

Titanium white. Cadmium lemon. Hansa yellow light. Cerulean blue. Cobalt blue. Pthalo blue. Gold ochre. Chromatic black. Viridian. Sap green. Burnt umber. Burnt sienna. Portland grey medium.

He instinctively picked through the colors of paint that lay before him, a vision of a painting already forming in his head with each new color that he picked out and placed next to his palette. Willem only hesitated for a brief moment once the paints were chosen before he scooped them up in his arms and brought them over to his stool, dragging an easel along behind him. He went back for a canvas and the other tools and brushes before sitting down.

Willem’s breath felt lodged in his throat for several moments as he stared at the almost intimidating expanse of vast empty whiteness. It was blinding in a way, like the feeling from staring at glistening snow for too long. Squeezing the colors onto his palette, he picked up a paintbrush and dipped it into a mixture of lighter and darker blues.

Raising the brush, he hesitated once more, stilling the nervous tremble in his hand. And then, he painted, and he could feel all of his emotions come crashing down around him, spreading down along his arm and out the brush and onto the canvas. Each stroke and color was a conduit of emotion.

Willem stayed in the art room that night.


	2. Annabel

Annabel stared sullenly at the pizza in her hand, watching the cheese-covered crust droop sadly towards the plate. She barely even noticed it when a warm hand slid into hers from across the table, her fingers absentmindedly running circles against the smooth tan skin. It wasn't until she heard the melodic pitch of her boyfriend's voice calling her name that she snapped out of the daze that she was in.

 

“Ah,  _ mi corazon _ , what trouble has put such a sad look on such a beautiful face?”

 

Annabel glanced up at Antonio, lips stretching into a thin smile. She had hoped her worry hadn't been noticeable, but whether it was or not, she knew that Antonio would've picked up on it anyways. Setting the pizza down, she wiped her fingers off on the napkin before taking his hand and twining their fingers together.

 

“I don't know. I don't know what's going on. Willem keeps acting weird and distant and he's hiding something from me about Mathias and Lukas and the stuff that's happening between them. There's something about the entire situation that's causing my brother to be hurting, and the few things that I could pick up on that I managed to pry out of him earlier don't make much sense…” Annabel sighed, bringing Antonio's hand up to her cheek and leaning into the warm skin. “It worries me. It worries me that Willem might end up getting hurt… He said that I might end up getting hurt if I don't keep my nose out of it, because Lukas can't be trusted…”

 

That comment made Antonio's gentle smile fade away, replaced by a neutral expression that he used to conceal his anger. “Go on.” His voice was too soft.

 

She turned her head briefly to press a kiss against the palm of his hand before speaking. “When I tried to ask if Lukas had ended up hurting Mathias, Willem just told me to stop worrying and to mind my own business, because it wasn't my place to interfere, just like it wasn't his place to interfere with their relationship…” Her eyes slipped closed as she felt his fingers gently stroke her cheek soothingly. “I know that Mathias has been hurt by Lukas, emotionally at least, with all of the back and forth head games that he keeps pulling on Matt. But I think…” she trailed off, biting her lip and turning her head away. Annabel glanced around the restaurant before leaning closer to Antonio and lowering her voice so that the other patrons wouldn't be able to hear. “I think Lukas may have ended up  _ physically _ hurting him. I think that's why Willem's been adamant about the fact that Lukas can't be trusted and that I need to stay away from him. I think that's why Will's so torn up and hurt, because I think he knows something since he and Mathias have been roommates ever since they started college together, and they've been friends since before that…”

 

“Shh, shh, shh… It'll be okay.” Antonio's hands cupped her face, tilting her head up so that their eyes met. His voice was soothing as he cooed quiet words of reassurance to her. “Everything will be okay. I promise that I won't let anything happen to you,  _ mi amor _ . I swear that I'll do everything that I can to help. I'll keep an eye on your brother during all of our soccer practices to make sure he doesn't get worse, and I'll keep an eye on Mathias too, to help make sure that nothing serious ends up happening. You have my word on it.”

 

A shaky breath passed through Annabel's lips as a heavy weight seemed to fall off of her shoulders. It was a lot of stress to deal with, especially with how Willem had been acting since she arrived and the difference in his behavior from when he had left home. It had been like some sort of terrible revelation or event had happened which had ended up breaking him. He didn't seem to notice or care. He just kept trying to hide it from her and everyone else. At least Annabel knew that she could always rely on Antonio, and it made her happy to know that if there was anything troubling her then she could always openly speak with him without any sort of criticism or being told that she was overreacting. He made her feel special and important and loved.

 

Nodding her head, a fond smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “You know you really are the most amazing man I've ever met.” She reached up her hands and gently rested them on top of Antonio's. “You always seem to know just the right words to say to make me feel better.”

 

He chuckled softly before leaning over and pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. “Before you say anything about it, it's not because of my psychology courses. I just want to make sure that you're happy and safe, and I'm always going to keep my word and do everything that that requires. You're my heart and soul, and if it were required of me, I would gladly lay down my life to protect you if it meant that I knew you would live to see another day.”

 

It was a bold statement, but it was also one that was completely sincere and chivalrous. Chivalry wasn't a trait that many men possessed these days, and that's one of the reasons that Annabel had fallen in love with Antonio. He was different in so many ways compared to the rest of the male populace, particularly the boys that had been in her high school or that would come into her work.

 

Annabel could still remember the day that they had met like it was yesterday. She was working at the cafe just as she did every morning, making and serving breakfast to the customers, many of whom would come in for the sole purpose of ordering the Belgian waffles that she made. It was her own recipe and it hadn't been too difficult to convince the owner of the cafe to add it to the menu after she tried them.

 

The aromas of fresh coffee, sizzling bacon, warm butter, sugary syrup, and waffle batter permeated the air. The quiet murmur of voices and the clinking of silverware, and the sounds of the cooktop filled the cafe as the waitresses greeted customers and took their orders. An autumn breeze was blowing against windows that gleamed with reflected sunlight. Despite the warm and sunny atmosphere outside the cafe, she knew that a storm was supposed to make its way into the area that afternoon.

 

It was half past seven whenever a rowdy group of college boys had filed into the cafe, making her cringe. She always hated it whenever senseless meatheads like them ended up coming in, because they always seemed to make it a point to try to make all of the women uncomfortable or to flirt with them, and Annabel certainly wasn't in the mood to tolerate any lewd comments that were directed towards her.

 

That small bubble of anxiety remained in her chest the entire time that she was cooking the orders. It only grew as she picked up the serving tray that had the table's food stacked on it and she reluctantly plastered on a professional smile and trudged her way over to the table with the boys. Just as she was about to reach the table, a cackle rose up from one of the boys sitting on the end. Suddenly, a foot caught her ankle, throwing her off-balance and sending the entire tray of food crashing onto the table and floor. It was followed by howls of laughter from the entire group.

 

“How about you watch where you're going next time, you fucking klutz? You could've stained my shirt, and I just bought it!” There was another chorus of laughter.

 

It felt like her heart had stopped in her chest. Her face was burning and her hands were starting to shake as she whispered out several apologies. Kneeling and picking up the tray, she delicately started cleaning up the ruined food and plates and cutlery. It was such a waste, after the time that she spent cooking it all. Those thoughts were soon discarded as one of the other college boys spoke up, sending a spike of fear piercing her heart like an arrow.

 

“Look, boys, she's at least good at something on her knees. Why don't we bring her back to our dorm with us and see if she's not good at anything else?” From the corner of her eye, she saw the man on the end raise his hand behind her and start to swing down.

 

Instinctively, Annabel squeezed her eyes shut in anticipation for the slap...that never came. Blinking in confusion when a yelp of surprise and pain came from the student, Annabel turned around to see  _ him _ standing there, holding the guy's wrist. All Annabel could do was stare in barely concealed awe, gazing at the head of damp black curls.

 

“Ey,  _ cabrón _ , that's no way to talk to a lady, nor is trying to touch her. I would highly suggest you pay the owner for the damages done and the food you wasted, and then I would suggest you leave before the police become involved. I'm sure this wouldn't be the first time that they would've been called on you, and I'm sure none of you need any harassment charges…”

 

Annabel watched the group's range of expressions from anger to fear to the paleness of pain.

 

“Why, you little--” The student was cut off as Annabel's savior twisted his arm more painfully behind his back.

 

“I don't believe I asked you to talk…” He shook his head, sighing before nodding to the owner of the cafe who had come over to investigate the ruckus while Annabel had been distracted. The two quietly conversed amongst themselves for a few moments before the man finally let go of the delinquent's arm and stepped off to the side for the owner to continue dealing with the group.

 

Shaking her head, Annabel reluctantly returned to her duties and cleaning up the remains of the ruined breakfast. It was only a few seconds later that a second pair of hands was picking up the dishes too, making Annabel pause and glance over. To her surprise, it was the young man that had saved her earlier. “Y-You don't need to do that. It's my job…”

 

He gave her a wide smile when he saw her surprise. “Your job, it may be, but everything is easier when you work together. Besides,” he paused, his expression becoming more somber, “what they were trying to do and what they did wasn't right. There's no reason for you to suffer for their actions.”

 

Warm relief spread through her chest, nodding her head slowly. “Thank you,” she stammered out, picking up the loaded tray once everything was cleaned up. “You didn't have to do that…” Annabel mumbled, hesitating before passing the tray off to one of the other girls that was there and going to wash her hands.

 

To her surprise, the man was waiting for her when she came back. “It was the right thing to do, so my honor dictates that I must. I know how hard your job is, and there's no reason for people like  _ that _ to go around harassing a beautiful woman and making it worse.”

 

“But--”

 

“It was an honor to serve you, my lady,” he murmured, holding an arm across his stomach as he bowed. It only made the blush on her cheeks darken. “I hope that we may meet again, Annabel.”

 

Before she could say anything in her state of shock, he had already disappeared out the door of the cafe. “W-Wait, I--” she called out with an outstretched arm that eventually fell to her side.  _ I didn't even get to know your name _ .

 

Annabel had tried to push the encounter from her mind after that, but all that she could think about was  _ him _ . His smile. The gentle cadences of his voice. The soft green hues of his eyes. His naturally sun-bronzed skin. They had barely even talked, but there was something about him that she just couldn't let go.

 

And she had absolutely no way to find him or to figure out who he was.

 

A part of her had begun to despair, already having given up on the prospect of meeting him again. It wasn't until the next day when she had arrived at work that the heaviness in her chest had lifted. Sitting in one of the booths of the cafe with the morning light streaming in through the window was  _ him _ . The sight of the smile that lit up his face when he saw Annabel made her heart flutter.

 

“You! I wasn't expecting to see you again after you just disappeared yesterday,” Annabel murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she stood by his table. “I never got a chance to thank you for what you did yesterday…”

 

“What I did requires no thanks, my lady,” the man stated, pressing a hand over his heart. “It merely joys me to be able to see your face again.”

 

“Well, I work here nearly every morning, so if you end up coming by, I'm more than likely going to be here,” she murmured, hands fiddling with the hem of her uniform's skirt. Shaking her head, she cleared her throat. “You never did tell me your name, even though you knew mine...”

 

The man looked sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah, did I forget to do that?  _ Lo siento.  _ It must've just slipped my mind, considering what those...degenerates had been saying to you and what they were trying to do.  _ Me hizo enojar _ . No woman should have to fear for her life…” Shaking his head, he held out a hand towards her with a gentle smile. “But yes. I'm Antonio,” he stated, his grin only widening whenever Annabel took his hand.

 

“Antonio…” she murmured, a warm fluttering in her chest. “It's nice to officially meet you. What brings you--”

 

“Annabel! We've got some orders that need you!” one of the girls called from the kitchen, making Annabel wince and her shoulders droop slightly.

 

Turning back to Antonio, she grimaced, opening her mouth to apologize but he merely shook his head. “Go,  _ mi hermosa.  _ We can talk more when you are done with work.” He brought the back of Annabel's hand to his lips, pressing a gentle to kiss to her skin. “I will be waiting for you.”

 

And wait for her, he did. Once her shift was over, they exchanged phone numbers, arranging to spend time together outside of Annabel's work so that they could get to know each other better. With each moment they spent together, Annabel fell even deeper in love than before. It was like a fairytale dream, where the knight in shining armor swoops in to save the princess and they fall in love.

 

She still couldn't believe that she had gotten so lucky with him. Though as she sat now, gazing at Antonio across from her in their restaurant booth, Annabel couldn't help but to think that perhaps it wasn't luck at all. Maybe it was destiny.

 

The thought brought a smile to her face as she nuzzled against the hand that was still cupping her cheek. “Well, I don't want you to lay down your life for me. Who would help me finish all of this pizza if you were gone?” she teased, reaching over and running a hand through Antonio's curls briefly, a wide smile on her face. She may not feel completely better about what had transpired with her brother earlier, but she knew that there was no one else that she would ever turn to except for Antonio.

 

He laughed, shaking his head as he picked up one of the pieces of pizza. “You make a fair point,” he said, holding out the piece to Annabel for her to take a bite before eating it himself.

 

“I do really appreciate that you're willing to look after Mathias and Willem. I truly hope that nothing is going to happen, but I can't help but to worry,” she said quietly, taking another bite of her pizza.

 

“I just want to do everything I can to help. Willem's your brother, but both of them are also my teammates, and I'd like to know that they're okay too,” Antonio said, taking her hand with a reassuring smile. “I'm sure that we'll get this entire mess sorted out soon enough.”

 

She knew that the words were meant to be comforting, but Annabel couldn't help the ache of worry that gnawed at her chest as she gave his hand a squeeze and looked out the window. “I hope so… I truly hope so…”


	3. Mathias

His body ached and his eyes burned. His movements felt far more sluggish than they should’ve been. Exhaustion and fatigue were lingering just outside the edges of his consciousness.

Still, Mathias forced himself to smile and not look panicked as he strode around the university campus in the very early dawn light. He couldn’t let himself let others see how he was truly feeling inside. He hated it, but he had learned from a very young age that people looked for any signs of weakness that they could exploit.

He would say that he had lived a privileged life. His mother was an esteemed neurosurgeon, and his father was a civil engineer who hailed from a wealthy family in Denmark. However, he had been quick to find out that once kids his age knew who his parents were and the money they came from, that was all that the kids cared about and wanted. Even when Mathias was upset or sad, all of his “friends” would only be empathetic and caring up until the point that they were able to come over to his house to “cheer him up” and spent the entire time playing with all of the stuff that was there, and completely ignoring Mathias once they got what they had wanted.

So Mathias shut himself off from them. He stopped showing when he was upset or sad so that he wouldn’t get used. He was always still caring and got along with everybody at school, but he wouldn’t allow anyone close to him. He wouldn’t let himself be surrounded by fake people who only cared about their own selfish wants without any regard to who they hurt in the process.

It had led to a rather lonely existence though. At least, until he had met Willem. Willem, who never asked for anything nor expected anything in return for the things that he did. Who always struggled and worked past any difficulty or obstacle that had been set in his way. Who was always there for him to lend an ear when Mathias was feeling down or under pressure by his parents. Who always accepted Mathias without caring about his heritage or his parent’s money.

The sheer amount of acceptance he felt towards and around Willem had helped lift a heavy weight off his chest and shoulders that he hadn’t known had been there before. It honestly had made Mathias want to just run away with Willem from everything else that was around them, to run from the loneliness of their lives. His senior year of high school, he had finally worked up the nerve to describe his plan to Willem, but before he even got the chance to, his parents had dashed all of those hopes and dreams to pieces when they reintroduced him to Lukas.

Lukas was the only child of one of the influential families that Mathias’s parents were close friends with. Their family had been amassing wealth and power through their connections and beneficial marriages for generations. With the closeness of their families, they had been around each other at many different social events and galas. However, Mathias had always made it a point to sneak off to the most remote part of the event as possible or to hide under the food tables in order to scrounge a steady stream of snacks.

The two families lost touch after a while as the Lund family enrolled Lukas into a private international boarding school so that the two parents could travel around for their jobs and just because they could afford to travel so much. However, once the Lunds had returned back to town during Mathias’s senior year, everything changed… The parents acted simultaneously as though they had never even been apart at all and as though they had just survived the apocalypse and had thought that they would never see each other again.

For Mathias, all he could think about was his own future and building his own life far away from any of the drama associated with the wealthy so that he could live a simple life and spend his time with Willem. He didn’t care about Lukas or what his parents had been doing. He had his own plans that he was trying to set into motion. Unfortunately, events didn’t unfold that way.

It was only several nights after the families had been reunited that Mathias’s parents gave him the world-shattering news: Lukas had told his parents that he wanted to marry Mathias. Both sets of parents had discussed the matter, and it had been decided that it would be a...mutually beneficial union for all. Not that Mathias had been respected enough to be included in on that decision. He had heard of arranged marriages before and knew of several people who were a part of them, but he had never believed that his  _parents_  would be that willing to sacrifice his happiness for their own goals.

Of course, he knew that was why he hadn’t been included in on the decision-making process, because they knew that he would reject it. As it had ended up standing, he had a difficult enough time convincing his parents that he wasn’t ready for marriage and still wanted to pursue going to university before settling into some sort of arrangement like that.

In the end, Mathias’s parents relented, and he could already smell the sweet scent of freedom. But it was a short-lived rejoicing when he eventually discovered that Lukas was going to attend the same university as him.  _So that you two can bond and become closer to each other,_  his mother had explained.

The part that sucked the most was that he couldn’t tell Willem about any of it. He wanted to, but it felt like his burden and his alone to bear. All he could do was try to make the best out of his time left and to make sure that time was spent not feeling alone. It took all of his courage to muster up the nerves to ask Willem the biggest favor he had asked anyone before: Would he come to the same college as him?

At first, there had been silence on Willem’s end, but eventually a wide smile had split his face as he nodded enthusiastically. It was one of the few times that he had ever seen Willem look that happy, and it made Mathias’s chest swell with warmth to know that  _he_  was the one that put that smile on Willem’s face. So they made their plans to be roommates, and for the past three and a half years, they had spent as much of their time together as possible.

Willem had always ended up being there for him throughout everything, even listening patiently to all of the drama that Mathias had been dealing with regarding Lukas. There had never been a night where they hadn’t ended up falling asleep listening to soothing music or nature sounds together or where they fell asleep just talking with one another.

But last night, Willem hadn’t come back to their dorm room.

After Mathias had finished talking with Lukas about his attitude, which didn’t end up going well, he had returned to his room with the expectation that Willem would end up being there. Only he hadn’t been.

Hours had dragged on. Mathias knew that Willem should’ve been back to the dorm by then. It wasn’t like him to suddenly just disappear or change his schedule, especially without any sort of notice. He knew that Willem had needed to speak with Annabel and help her with some of her assignments, but he also knew that Annabel had a date with her boyfriend so she wouldn’t have been able to keep her brother for that long.

It was eight o’clock when he tried calling Willem’s phone the first time. No answer. He started pacing around the room at nine. He called again. Still no answer. At ten o’clock, Mathias was on the edge of his bed, legs bouncing anxiously. He called three times that hour. No answer any of the times. By the time midnight had rolled around, Mathias had called a total of thirteen times and left over twenty texts in increasing franticness.

It was one in the morning when Mathias bundled up in a hoodie and sweats and left the dorm to look around the campus. There had to be some sort of sign of Willem  _somewhere_. There had to be some sort of logical explanation for him not showing up that night.

Maybe he ended up finding a girl that he took a fancy to and was staying the night with her? No, Willem wasn’t that type of guy. Plus there had never been a moment during the time that Mathias had known him that Willem had shown even the slightest interest in  _dating_  anyone, much less going further than that. Maybe he had a family emergency? No, that didn’t seem likely either because Willem would’ve let him know if something was wrong. Maybe he went out and got drunk at a bar? No, definitely not; Willem was very anti-alcohol and had gotten into several arguments with people who tried to pressure him into drinking.

Beyond those thoughts though, lay the darker  _what-if’s_ that began to creep in with the rising amount of hysteria and sleep deprivation added to the amount of caffeine he had consumed.

_What if Willem had gotten mugged? What if he had gotten stabbed and dragged into a dark alleyway? What if he was dying? What if he had been kidnapped? What if there had been some sort of shootout and he got caught in the crossfire? What if he had been hit by a car and was in the hospital? What if he had amnesia and couldn’t remember who or where he was? What if he just mysteriously disappeared without a trace? What if he never got to see Willem again? What if--_

The weight of a heavy hand landing on his shoulder caused Mathias to bite back a muffled scream, even as he dropped his ninth cup of coffee and watched it decorate the sidewalk like a blood splatter. His hands instinctively shot up to guard himself as he whirled away from the other person, squinting in the darkness to try to make out the other’s features.

It was only after a few moments later, once the sound of his blood pounding in his ears had quieted, that he recognized the familiar voice calling his name.

“Mathias. Mathias, relax. Hey, it’s just me. Calm down. Deep breaths, Matt.”

It took Mathias a few seconds of inspection to decide whether or not he was merely hallucinating or if the tall figure standing in front of him truly was Willem. He decided he didn’t care either way, very nearly flinging himself into Willem’s arms and squeezing him tightly.

“Oh, thank the gods that you’re okay…” Mathias mumbled, feeling dizzy with relief. “I looked all over for you and called and text you, but there wasn’t any response, and I had waited for you to come back to the dorm but you didn’t… I thought you were gone…”

The words caused Willem to sigh, his own shoulders drooping tiredly. A hand came up and rubbed Mathias’s back. “I’m sorry…”

Those were the only words that the taller male could get out as Mathias pulled back slightly, looking up at him. Mathias noticed the dark shadows under Willem’s eyes, the tightness of stress, the fatigue, the different colored paint splatters that were stuck to his skin… That was when Mathias noticed that Willem was still wearing the same clothes that he had left the previous day’s soccer practice in, not counting the addition of paint flecks to the rumpled clothing as well.

Suddenly Mathias felt very stupid as he stood there sheepishly under Willem’s gaze. “You...never left the art department, did you?” It felt so obvious, and yet he was in such a panic that he didn’t even think to look there. All he could think about was the fact that Willem’s pattern had changed and that he was scared of losing him.

Shaking his head, Willem coughed deeply into his elbow, shoulders slumping. “No, I hadn’t. I ended up working on a project but passed out on the table after a while.” Mathias could feel the tremble of Willem’s hand as he continued rubbing his back, almost absentmindedly. There was a pause. “What time is it?”

Reluctantly dropping his arms from around Willem, Mathias pulled his phone out of his hoodie pocket, glancing at the time. “Just a little past four in the morning.” He had been waiting and looking for Willem for over eight hours… Mathias glanced up at him, but his roommate’s expression looked dead and emotionless. An unsettling feeling wound its way into his stomach, making him anxious. “I tried calling and texting you,” Mathias tried, attempting to coax some sort of reaction out of him.

Willem just stared at him. “Oh.”

Something was wrong. Mathias could feel it.

“I’m pretty sure my phone died, because I didn’t hear anything. I’ll check it later.” That was better, but there was something still...off with the way that Willem was acting. Or maybe Mathias was just overreacting because of his fatigue and worry. Maybe it was just making him look into things too deeply and out of perspective. They were obviously both exhausted after all.

“Right. Yeah. Didn’t think about that. Sorry,” Mathias mumbled with a sheepish chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. He was definitely starting to crash from the caffeine and adrenaline wearing off.

Before he could say anything, Willem spoke up. “Let’s head back to our room,” he muttered, resting a hand on Mathias’s shoulder. “We could both use the rest…”

Mathias let out a sigh of relief, a smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah.” At this rate, he was just glad to have Willem back. “Let’s go,” he said, kicking the murdered coffee cup off the sidewalk and leading the way back to their dorm building with Willem right by his side.

It was actually really nice, all things considered with how stressful the night had been. Being able to take a moonlit stroll in the early morning hours when the crickets and fireflies were still out… The morning breeze gently rustling the leaves of the treetops and bushes… It was relaxing and only made him feel that much more drowsy as he leaned against Willem’s arm for support. They had taken early morning walks together before, but those times were usually filled with chatting. Mathias had never really taken the time to appreciate the surrounding nature as he did in those moments.

Willem grunted quietly when Mathias leaned against him but otherwise made no move to push him away. He would never say it, Mathias knew, but they both needed each other in a way. Their companionship was very precious to both of them, and Mathias knew neither of them were willing to lose the other for anything or anyone. Which was what made Lukas’s complaints and moodiness all the more stressful to deal with, but he wasn’t going to worry about that for the time being.

They reached the building all too soon, Mathias reluctantly sliding in the card key to open the door. The trek through the building was quiet, save for their muffled footsteps against the carpeted floors and the dull thud of the stairwell door closing behind them as they made their way up to their floor. The deserted hallway stretched in front of them, the pale moonlight making patterns play on the carpet through the windowpanes that lined the outer wall.

Sometimes Mathias cursed the fact that he had to come to this school. Especially after nights like tonight where Lukas only made things worse and made it all the more difficult to live his life freely. He didn’t hate Lukas and he never had, but certain behaviors of his always seemed to find a way to push Mathias almost to his breaking point. If it weren’t for the fact that the relationship or engagement or whatever  _they_  even really were… if it weren’t for the fact that his family’s name and image were on the line, and the fact that Mathias’s parents would surely end up cutting him off from any money or inheritance that he would likely receive, then Mathias would have already left and disappeared somewhere. It wouldn’t have mattered where. After all, that had been his plan after high school anyways.

Now he was cornered between a rock and a hard place, because now he had to maintain this facade of a relationship and deal with all of Lukas’s bullshit on top of it. He had thought that when he had made the deal with his parents that he would have at least had time to breathe and spend time with Willem unhindered like he had originally planned…

“Mathias, the door,” Willem prompted, shifting his duffel bag to the side and giving Mathias a gentle nudge with his elbow.

Right, the door. “Sorry. Haha. Guess I was spacing out. Sorry about that,” Mathias chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck and unlocking the door.

Willem merely gave a noncommittal grunt and stepped inside the room, dropping his bag on the ground near the foot of his bed. Whenever Mathias stepped inside and locked the door behind him, he flinched slightly with surprise as Willem gripped his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

Gazing up into the other’s sea-green eyes made his heart leap in his chest at the incomprehensible emotions that he found there, turning his eyes into stormy seas that Mathias almost felt that he could drown himself in. The emotion there was a drastic change to the dead lifelessness that had reigned earlier.

“Did he hurt you?” There was a growl to Willem’s voice. It shocked Mathias with the intensity.

“W-What?”

Willem took a slow breath, his teeth clenched. “Did. Lukas. Hurt. You.”

_Oh._  Mathias shook his head, letting out a small bitter laugh. “No, there was just more bickering, as per usual. It wasn’t as bad this time though.” That much at least Willem didn’t have to worry about, though Mathias knew he was bound to worry about him one way or the other. Something seemed different about Willem’s reaction this time. It was like something had set him off, but Mathias couldn’t put his thumb on what it could be… “Why--”

“You’re wearing my hoodie.” All of the emotion seemed to drain right out of Willem as his shoulders slouched with fatigue.

At the statement, Mathias couldn’t help the embarrassed flush that crept its way up his neck, making him feel uncomfortably warm under Willem’s gaze. “Am I? I didn’t notice. I had just grabbed one and tossed it on when I went to go find you. I must have grabbed one of yours by accident. Here, I’ll take it off and--” Mathias was cut off by Willem’s hand resting on his when he went to lift the bottom hem of the shirt up.

“Matt, it’s fine. I don’t mind if you wear my clothes. We’re close enough to the same size. I’m not that much taller than you…” He trailed off, his eyes darkening slightly as he gripped Mathias’s chin between his fingers and holding their gazes. “I would just be wary about wearing anything around Lukas, because of the way he would take it and how he would be bound to react. That’s not something I’m willing for you to go through. Do you understand?”

His throat felt dry as he paled, nodding as far as he could. He hadn’t even thought of that possibility. And Mathias knew that Willem hadn’t meant for it to, but those words sent a cold chill of fear down his spine, making him shiver. Lukas would end up seeing the shared clothing as a sign of possession, of ownership, of Mathias belonging to someone else, and that would make him absolutely livid. There wouldn’t be anything stopping Lukas from taking his fury out on first Mathias and then Willem. Mathias wouldn’t put it past Lukas enjoying having Mathias and Willem watch one another have the shit beaten out of them.

Feeling that the message was conveyed, Willem gave a short nod before letting go and backing away in order to flop down on his bed in the darkness of the room. His eyes closed with a groan.

Mathias felt almost dizzy from the sudden lack of contact and the loss of warmth, watching as Willem settled onto the bed. The faintest snores echoed from his lips as he almost instantaneously fell into a deep slumber. He stood by the door, watching the other for several more moments before shaking his head wearily. Walking over to where Willem lay, he gently removed the other’s shoes and pulled his legs fully onto the bed before draping a light blanket over his sleeping form.

Willem looked peaceful in his sleep as Mathias reached out and wiped away some of the paint smeared on his cheek. If only things could be simpler… If only  _life_  could’ve been simpler and kinder to the both of them…

Letting out a sigh, Mathias shook his head, sitting on the edge of his own bed and staring at the other’s silhouette for several long moments. It was moments like these that made Mathias resent Lukas, resent his parents, resent Lukas’s parents for messing up the plans that he had been so carefully making before the stupid arranged engagement occurred. Most importantly though, he resented himself for not acting sooner.

In the end, he supposed that none of it really mattered though, not when Willem didn’t feel the same. After all, why else would he constantly be trying to tell him to fix things with Lukas? And yet every time that he kept going to Willem for advice, Mathias kept expecting a different answer, kept  _hoping_  for a different answer.

Biting his lip, he curled up on his side, pulling the fabric of the hoodie close around him and slowly inhaling the scent. Maybe it was stupid or naive, but even after everything that had happened and that continued to happen, Mathias still had hope…


	4. Antonio

“C'moooon, you two…” Gillian whined, sprawling out in the grass and draping his arm over his face. “Does this really have to happen right  _ now _ ? I mean,  _ surely _ it can wait…” Pausing, he propped himself up on his elbows, his nose scrunching up in confusion. “Actually… What  _ are  _ you two doing?”

 

Antonio sighed from where he was sitting under the tree, eyebrows furrowing together in concentration as he looked through the lists that were pulled up on the laptop in front of him.

 

“We are helping Antonio's damsel-in-distress solve a perplexing problem,” said the man that was sitting beside Antonio, tapping away rapidly at the keyboard. He pushed his glasses up from where they had slid down to the tip of his nose, looking distastefully down at where Gillian was laying. “Honestly, have you even been paying attention?” His French accent deepened with the disdain that he felt as he scoffed, swiping one of his long light brown locks behind his ear.

 

“Now, now, Christopher, we both know that Gil's not coherent in the morning, so it probably went in one ear and out the other,” Antonio said with mock sympathy, even though a wide grin was on his face. He couldn't help himself. The three of them were close so it wasn't difficult for all of them to poke fun at each other and tease one another. Of course, it often led to wrestling matches where they would try to make one another tap out, but that was usually only between Gillian and Antonio. Christopher, on the other hand, had an intense dislike for such rowdiness when it was off the soccer field.

 

Christopher merely snorted, returning his gaze back to the keyboard in front of him with his long fingers tapping diligently away at the keys. Antonio watched him with anticipation. Technically, they shouldn't even be doing this. He hadn't even come close to finishing all of his criminal law and psychology courses, but he was fairly certain that hacking into a government database was strictly illegal.

 

It hadn't even been Antonio's idea in all fairness, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't be seen as an accomplice if they were caught. It had all started whenever Antonio confided in his roommate, Christopher. The man had noticed how disquieted Antonio had been after he had returned from his date with Annabel the previous night.

 

Even if Antonio hadn't shown it around his girlfriend, he found the news that she had delivered incredibly disturbing. The very idea that Mathias may be trapped in an abusive relationship didn't sit well with the Spaniard. He may not have been close friends with Mathias, but there was still a connection and a camaraderie between them that couldn't be dismissed. They were teammates, and in Antonio's old soccer team, teammates were treated like family. So the very idea that someone was hurting one of his family was an unspeakable offense. Add on top of that the fact that Annabel's brother seemed to be caught smack in the middle of all of the drama, and it almost made Antonio's vision go red with the rage that it invoked.

 

After Antonio had divulged his thoughts on the matter to Christopher, the man had remained silent for several long moments before reassuring him that they would find some sort of solution to the problem in front of them, but for the time being, rest was important. Antonio had thanked his best friend for listening and went to bed as requested.

 

It was later that following morning that Christopher had approached Antonio with his laptop. He was a computer expert and a genius whenever it came to any type of technology and how it worked. That's why Antonio was hardly surprised to hear that Christopher wanted to try to dig up as much information about Lukas as they possibly could.  _ After all, someone who has those supposed qualities would have left a trail or some sort of history,  _ he had reasoned with Antonio when it seemed like he would object.

 

With what knowledge he did have, Antonio knew that Christopher had to be right. It didn't mean that it still didn't feel wrong, but he knew he was doing it for Annabel, and as he had told Annabel before, he would do whatever it took to make sure that she was safe. She was everything to him, and he couldn't bear the thought of harm befalling her.

 

Gillian sighed, drawing Antonio from his thoughts. “If you two have it under control, why did you drag me into it again?” He had plucked a piece of grass and was twisting it between his fingers, tying it into knots.

 

“Comic relief,” Christopher said distractedly with the deadpanned expression he always wore when he was deep in thought, hazel eyes squinting at the computer screen.

 

Antonio restrained a chuckle as Gillian merely huffed and rolled onto his side to run his fingers through the grass. He would probably have grass stains on his clothing when he got up, but Antonio knew that Gillian wasn't likely to care at the moment with as bored as he looked.

 

A disgruntled grumble made Antonio look over at Christopher who was frowning at the laptop. “How...odd…” he remarked under his breath, nose scrunching up in annoyance. “It looks like there was... _ something  _ here on his records at one point, but they seem to have gotten...erased? No, no, that can't be… Hmm…”

 

As much as Antonio wanted to speak up and ask what the problem was, he knew better than to interrupt Christopher's train of thought, so he was left twiddling his thumbs and twisting his fingers into the hem of his shirt in anticipation. Anything that he did see on the screen and all of the coding made absolutely no sense to him. Patience was always a virtue though.

 

With the clicks of a few more buttons, Christopher beamed, his eyes instantly lighting up. “ _ I'm in _ ,” he declared in his best stereotypical hacker voice. Antonio watched the screen light up with various articles and photographs, Gillian scrambling up from the ground to look over Antonio's shoulder.

 

“Let's see what we have here…” Gillian mumbled, cracking his knuckles as Christopher nodded.

 

“Lukas Lund. Only child of the Lund family. His mother is a famous fashion designer, his father a CEO of some sort of corporation. Basically very wealthy family…with  _ quite _ a few suspicious bank transactions, I might add,” Christopher said as he pulled up another window, “to several families and individuals in law enforcement as well as several schools…” He tapped his finger against his lip, visibly resisting the urge to chew on his nails. “Hmm… It seems that whenever he was about twelve or thirteen, he ended up severely injuring another student in a physical altercation which caused several security officers at the school to get involved. Resisting the officers… The other student had to be hospitalized… Apparently the other student's parents originally tried to file charges and the school was going to expel Lukas, but  _ his  _ parents spent a pretty penny buying their silence for the charges to be dropped.”

 

“What about the school? Did the school still end up expelling him?” Gillian asked, squinting at the screen with a thoughtful expression on his face. Now that they were actually getting into the interesting part of their investigation and not just waiting around, his curiosity was piqued and he was far more actively engaged in the discussion.

 

Antonio understood that was how Gillian was. He was a man of action. He couldn't stand just laying around idly and waiting for something to happen. If there was something that needed to be done, Gillian would always somehow find himself in the middle of it because that was what drove him to succeed and rise above the others that tried to stand in his way.

 

Christopher shook his head, pushing his glasses up as his eyes quickly flicked across all the information in front of him “His parents withdrew him from the school so that it wouldn't be able to go on his record. He was then enrolled into some boarding school so that he could  _ focus on his hockey training _ ...” He rolled his eyes as he wiggled his fingers in a disbelieving gesture. “Basically just another cover-up so that he could go through therapy and anger management classes without the authorities breathing down his parents’ necks.”

 

“I wouldn't necessarily say that it's  _ completely _ untrue though,” Antonio retorted with a small nod. “He is on the hockey team here, so he must have gotten training somewhere.”

 

“Yeah, and nothing says  _ anger management _ better than full-contact sports that involve being able to beat the shit out of someone with items that could end up being classified as weapons if used incorrectly…” Gillian paused. “Or technically, correctly if you're  _ trying _ to use it as a weapon…”

 

“Either way,” Christopher interjected, “it doesn't make it right, and it still makes  _ him _ a danger. Even more so if he actually knows what he's doing...because while a weapon has the  _ potential  _ to be dangerous, it's the knowledge of the wielder that makes it so.”

 

Antonio couldn't argue with that. After all, knowledge was power. Knowledge also made people dangerous, even more than ignorance did. Shaking his head, he sighed, running a hand down his face. “What happened next? Is there anything else?” he asked, trying to bring the conversation back to the original topic at hand.

 

He had to know everything he could in order to proceed so that he could figure out the best way to protect Annabel and Mathias and Willem. There had to be some other sort of incriminating evidence-- Not that he would be able to present it to any authorities, because if they asked how he acquired the information, then  _ he _ would end up getting into hot water. Not to mention that if Lukas found out that they knew any of this, then he would likely try to hurt them or silence them somehow. Lukas might even try to get Antonio sent back to Barcelona if he had the connections to make that possible. And Antonio knew that rich people  _ always _ had connections.

 

Shaking his head, Christopher sighed. “There's not too much else that I can find. Just that he was able to transfer to a different private school after he left the school on good behavior. Other than that, there's just a few mentions of some verbal arguments that escalated and a couple of kids being hurt by Lukas in some hockey games. Those were written off as accidents due to the nature of the sport, though…”

 

“So we're screwed…” Gillian stated dully, tugging at his messy white hair. “We have nothing that we would be able to use against him, because everything is either being covered up or excused...or  _ Lukas _ will find out we know and screw us up himself…”

 

Silence fell between the three friends. In a way, the knowledge they found out only felt like it was hindering them at this point. There was no clear path that Antonio could see for them to move forward. Anything that they tried to do against Lukas would just end up in some sort of catastrophe.

 

At the very least, they  _ knew _ the type of person he was and that was confirmed, so they knew they had to be cautious. They didn't have the power or money to be able to do anything about it though. There wasn't anything that Antonio could see that he could do to change anything about the situation. In all honesty too, this didn't even give a complete picture of the story. There were always two sides to a story, after all.

 

All Antonio knew was that there was the possibility that Lukas was hurting Mathias based off of what Annabel could tell from what Willem said. Willem and Mathias were close friends and roommates so logically it would make sense for Mathias to end up opening up to Willem, if no one else. However, there was a chance that Willem's emotions, whatever they may be, could be making him biased in the situation  _ because of _ how close he was to Mathias, or that Annabel had ended up misunderstanding what Willem had meant. There had never been any type of proof, to Antonio's knowledge, that Mathias had ever been physically hurt by Lukas. Emotionally, yes, but that was with any tumultuous relationship. However, if they added in what they just found out about Lukas's past, then that certainly did increase the probability of Mathias having been hurt.

 

How could they prove it though?

 

If Mathias hadn't already come out and mentioned that he was being hurt, then it didn't seem likely that he was going to any time soon. And if Willem knew, then that would mean that Mathias had sworn him to secrecy. For whatever reason that may have been.

 

There had to be something that Antonio was missing. There had to be some sort of information that they were lacking which would make everything clear, because for the moment, they were definitely at a roadblock on what to do.

 

Surprisingly, it was Gillian who broke the silence in order to offer a plan. “You know, I actually know a couple of the people on the hockey team, and the coach has been trying to get me to join for quite a while. If nothing else, I could go and join the hockey team in order to keep an eye on Mathias there and see how Lukas acts. Make sure nothing ends up happening and get evidence if something does.”

 

Christopher and Antonio shared a look of surprise, but it was Christopher that was the first to speak up. “Are you sure about this, Gil? You've always complained about how much that you've hated the cold and how much you never wanted to play hockey ever. Why the change?”

 

Gillian shrugged, standing up and brushing his clothes off as he began stretching. “ _ Ja, _ that still holds true, but I'm thinking of it more as undercover work. You guys know how much I've always wanted to be an undercover operative. This will just end up being practice at infiltrating and getting close to the enemy. With what we just found out,” he dropped his arms to his sides, “we can't just sit by and wait for something to happen. We need evidence. Evidence that doesn't come from a database, because unfortunately with as corrupt as the law  _ is _ , they don't want to look at what somebody did however many years ago. They want solid proof of the people doing whatever it was in that particular incident that they're being tried for. Which is  _ stupid _ , but that's unfortunately how the law and judges work.”

 

Shaking his head, Christopher looked as though he was about to object, but Antonio simply placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. “No, Gil is right. We're going to need somebody on the inside to be able to do this. Somebody that we can trust, and I wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable with dragging anyone else into this mess. There's nobody outside of us three that should know about this. Too many people end up getting involved and we risk exposure and Lukas finding out that we know about his past. If he gets suspicious or any of this gets leaked, then we'll end up taking the fall. We have to proceed with the utmost of caution. You two are my best friends,  _ mis amigos _ , and we have to do this right. I don't want either of you getting in trouble when I was the one that brought both of you into this. So if something does happen, I'm the one who shall take the fall. It's only right…” Antonio trailed off as Gillian and Christopher both began laughing.

 

“ _ Mon ami _ ,” Christopher began, patting Antonio's hand on his shoulder, “do not think that we will abandon you. If one of us falls, then we all fall together. That is what friends are for,  _ non _ ?”

 

“Yeah! All for one, and one for all,” Gillian agreed, a wide smile on his face as he placed a hand on Antonio's other shoulder. “We're going to see this through to the end. You're not going to get us to back out so easily.”

 

“You guys…” Antonio glanced between his friends, his heart swelling with joy and relief as he wiped his eyes to make sure there weren't any tears forming there. “You two really are the best.” It was a wonderful feeling to know that he wasn't alone throughout any of this, and he knew that with friends like them that he would never feel alone.

 

“We know,” they said at the same time, causing Antonio to chuckle.

 

“Anyways, it's past noon, so we should probably go and find something to eat, and we can start discussing the details of our plans later tonight, just so that we can have a better idea of how this will all pan out,” Christopher stated, closing the laptop and storing it back in its place in his bag before standing up and stretching.

 

“Right,” Antonio agreed as they all gathered up what things they had brought with them and started down the sidewalk.

 

“Well, I know that the first thing that needs to be done is that I need to go and try to find the hockey coach. That way I can start talking to him about joining the team--” Gillian started before he was cut off by a feminine voice that spoke up behind them, causing him to let out a high-pitched shriek.

 

“You're joining the hockey team? How brutish,” the woman stated.

 

The three men stopped in their tracks, Gillian looking obviously flustered and in distress. His voice was shaking as he spoke. “H-Hi, Anneliese… What are, um, you doing here?” he asked the woman, wringing his hands together.

 

Antonio raised an eyebrow as he glanced between Gillian and the girl, Anneliese. She was dressed elegantly in a long white skirt and a purple blouse. Her hair was straight and raven-dark, reaching her waist though part of it was pulled out of the way into a small bun. She had dark brown eyes and her jaw was set in a firm frown. There was a small beauty mark beneath her right eye. The woman had an air of confidence and pride around her that was hard to ignore.

 

Anneliese raised an eyebrow. “I go to school here, Gillian. You know that,” she said flatly, though Antonio could pick up the faintest hint of amusement as her eyes glimmered.

 

It didn't seem that his friend could pick up on it though. He only seemed to grow more flustered and embarrassed by the moment. “R-Right, right. I knew that. I meant, here, on this sidewalk, going in this direction, at this exact moment.”

 

Without saying a word, she held up the violin case in her hand. “I have lessons.”

 

Gillian laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck as he averted his gaze, shuffling his feet. “Of course, of course,” he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair with a small huff. This seemed...different than his normal fear of women.

 

Before awkward silence could fall over the area, Christopher turned to Anneliese, sweeping his arm over his stomach and bowing. “My lady, I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting, and my friend and I,” he said with a nod to Antonio, “don't quite know who you are, nor your affiliation with our friend.”

 

Anneliese stared at Christopher for a few moments, her eyes quick and calculating as she took in the trio. She nodded. “I can spare a few moments…” she murmured, almost to herself. “We had our math course together last semester. For some reason, we seem to keep running into each other.” Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully before she shook her head. “Anyways, I really must be going before I'm late,” she stated, walking past them. “It was nice to meet you.” She paused, glancing back over her shoulder. “And it was nice to see you again, Gillian,” Anneliese added before heading off down the sidewalk, pausing at a crossroads before taking the left path.

 

Gillian let out a pained noise, rubbing his flushed face. “Hey, wait! You're going the wrong way,” he called out, fidgeting in place as though he was torn between staying where he was and running after her. “Always so absentminded…” he mumbled under his breath to himself as she just continued down the path she had taken.

 

It became suddenly apparent to Antonio why Gillian was acting the way that he was. A fond smile tugged at the corners of his lips.  _ So the mighty Gillian has finally fallen in love, even if he himself can’t see that that’s what it is. _ Antonio glanced over at Christopher and raised an eyebrow as he tilted his head towards their mutual friend.

 

Christopher nodded, placing a hand on Gillian’s shoulder. “ _ Mon ami _ , why don’t you go after her to make sure that she gets to her lessons okay? It would be a shame for such a lovely lady to get lost.”

 

Gillian dropped his hands to his sides, narrowing his eyes in suspicion as he glanced between his two friends. “Look, I don’t know what you two are thinking, but I can assure you that it’s definitely not it. I don’t like her. She’s arrogant and acts like she’s better than me--”

 

“Well, she does have more class than you,” Christopher interjected.

 

“--and she’s just… She makes me want to pull my hair out with how frustrating she acts. And how delicate and fragile she looks…” Gillian continued as if Christopher hadn’t spoken. “And she’s just--”

 

Antonio cut him off with a hand on his shoulder. “You know, from everything that I saw for the few moments that she was here, I’m pretty sure that she likes you. I’m not telling you to get over your fear of women. I’m just saying not to let that hold you back from following your heart…”

 

Gillian’s jaw dropped as his face turned beet red. “W-What?”

 

“Gil,  _ s’il vous  _ _ plaît _ , we’re your best friends. We  _ know _ you,” Christopher said gently. “This isn’t your normal behavior around a woman. You certainly didn’t run away screaming,” he teased with a sly smirk and a nudge with his elbow.

 

“Oi! That was one time!” Gillian retorted, rubbing his side with an over-exaggerated pout as he crossed his arms sulkily.

 

“We’re just saying that you shouldn’t let this opportunity pass, and that we’re here to support you if you need it. Follow your heart, Gil.” Antonio nodded his head back towards the path that Anneliese had disappeared down.

 

Gillian had started to take a few steps forward before hesitating. “But what about the hockey coach and our plans? We can’t just throw those to the wayside.”

 

“ _ Oh mon dieu _ , we’re not saying that, and you’ll have plenty of time to do that once you’ve walked her to her music lessons.  _ She  _ might not have the time to get to her lesson on time though, if you keep on with all of this dilly-dallying around and stalling. Now, go!  _ Allez, allez! _ ” Christopher said exasperatedly as he gave Gillian a push down the sidewalk in order for the man to get going.

 

He hesitated for a few moments more, looking over his shoulder before nodding and jogging down the sidewalk. They watched in silence until he disappeared out of view, both of them letting out a sigh.

 

“What are we going to do with him?” Antonio chuckled, cracking his neck.

 

“Strangle him, maybe,” Christopher responded, shaking his head with a small laugh before becoming more serious as they continued walking. “All of Gil’s love life aside, we still have important work to do, and just because we’re in a better mood, we shouldn’t let that be cause for our guards to be lowered. I’ll have to do some more digging and background checks, but I’m sure I’ll be able to find some stuff involving some of the people that were mentioned in L’s report. I’ll try to figure out who he has connections with here at the school, whether it be student or administrative, and even locally. I’ll take care of all of the tech stuff.” He placed a hand on Antonio’s shoulder, looking at him over the rims of his glasses. “I want you to take care of your lady and keep an eye on her brother and Mathias for right now. Until Gil is able to get some physical proof of L’s actions, then we just need to lay low and keep our guards up. Otherwise, who knows what extremes might be taken to silence us...”

 

Antonio nodded, patting the man’s hand with a grim smile. “I know. We’re certainly treading into dangerous waters now, my friend.”

 

With everything that was starting to unfold before them and the weight of the responsibility that was falling upon their shoulders, Antonio held the fear that they would end up being like Sisyphus. They thought they were being so clever and that they would end up being able to get this boulder of burden up to the top of the hill. However, what would happen if they managed to push the boulder through all of the obstacles that faced them, only to have everything fall apart and for the boulder to go crashing down to the bottom of the hill? He didn’t want that to happen.

 

Christopher grunted in agreement, his thoughts going down a similar path. “Dangerous waters, indeed.”


	5. Willem

The day had felt like it had been dragging on forever until the next soccer practice that the team had. The only thing that had been on his mind all day had been the events from the previous night. Or very early morning, he should say. Or was it the entire evening? His memory felt too fuzzy to remember correctly.

 

Time seemed to be trapping him in a limbo, where the day felt as though it were taking an eternity to get through, but by the time that the practice had rolled around, it felt as though the day had barely begun. It had to the fatigue that he felt, Willem tried to reason with himself. Even with having stayed up so late into the night, he had still needed to get up fairly early in order to get to his first class of that day.

 

It left him feeling empty and dead inside as he struggled to stay awake through his classes. Though at the same time, staying awake had only been half of the problem. The other half was that he couldn’t stop remembering the way he found Mathias walking down the sidewalk looking for him and wearing his hoodie. It honestly still baffled Willem. Mathias had more important things and people in his life to focus on, and yet he wasted an entire night of sleep to instead look for Willem. Yes, they had been close friends for over a decade, but Willem didn’t think that Mathias would do something so extreme for  _ him _ and to make sure that he was okay.

 

As much as the sentiment gave a warm feeling in Willem’s chest, he wasn’t going to let himself get his hopes up about anything. No matter that when he had woken up the first things that he noticed were the fact that Mathias had put a blanket on him so he wouldn’t get cold while he slept, and the fact that Mathias had fallen asleep while still wearing Willem’s hoodie that he had borrowed. The soft lines of sleep had made Mathias look so much at peace and much younger, as if his everyday life normally weighed down on him tremendously. Or maybe it had just been the stress of that night. Willem couldn’t be sure.

 

All through the day, he kept remembering the way that Mathias had leaned on him while they were heading back to their dorm. The warmth of his presence and weight against his arm counteracted the slight chill that the night held. For those few brief moments, Willem could almost pretend and forget the fact that Mathias belonged to someone else. In those moments, Willem could almost pretend that  _ he _ was the one that Mathias wanted to be with instead of the stupid loser that had no proper idea of how to treat someone he was in a relationship with.

 

Honestly, if Willem ever found himself in a situation where he was in a room alone with Lukas and there were no witnesses around… No, he wouldn’t let his mind venture down that path. Not yet. He had to hold it together for just a little while longer until the practice was over, so that he could retreat to the art studio and continue with the personal projects that he had started the night before. It wasn’t necessarily good that he was locking himself away from other people, but it was the only thing that was keeping him sane. If he was around too many people, then he didn’t know if he would be able to keep himself together emotionally. There was too much that Willem had at stake for him to end up breaking down in front of anybody.

 

At the very least, Willem was able to avoid any questions and any sort of awkward conversations throughout the duration of the soccer practice. That didn’t mean that he wasn’t distracted though, his focus remaining mostly on Mathias during most of that time. Willem was watching him, studying him, seeing how he was acting. After last night, Mathias seemed to be holding up pretty well. He looked happy. He still looked tired, but it seemed as though there was a weight that had been lifted from his shoulders.

 

_ It probably has to do with whatever happened with Lukas _ , Willem thought bitterly. Even with as much as he tried not to, he couldn’t help thinking that whatever the reason that Mathias was happy was because things were getting fixed and going smoothly between him and Lukas. Who wouldn’t be happy that their relationship was growing and getting better? After all, it had been a source of stress for Mathias for quite some time with how unhappy some of Lukas’s actions had made him and being turned into a metaphorical punching bag.

 

If Mathias had truly ended up following Willem’s advice from the previous day… If the two of them had truly started to work things out between them… If Lukas was actually listening to reason and wasn’t as much of a complete asshole as Willem thought of him as… Then Willem had nobody to blame except himself for being a guiding hand that brought the two of them closer together and simultaneously shooting himself in the heart in the process.

 

At the very least, the soccer practice ended up being uneventful and served as a slight distraction to the stormy thoughts that clouded Willem's mind. He felt like a fool for holding onto his feelings for so long, but he couldn't help it. Part of him wished that he could get over his feelings for Mathias, that he could just walk away and disappear, but he knew that he had been too deeply in love with him for there to be any chance of that happening. So the only other alternative was to suffer in silence.

 

He listened in dull silence as the coach started in on one of his pep talks about how their big game was coming up next week, the game that was going to determine who went to the semi-finals. They had been doing well so far, but they couldn't afford for any slip-ups and everyone on the team needed to be at the top of their game. It was the usual speech as always, just with more emphasis on working as a team and winning. Plus making sure they were well rested and were eating correctly. Nothing new.

 

As Willem gathered up his belongings from inside the locker room, he paused whenever he heard Mathias's voice cut through the other chatter. “Hey, Gillian! I heard from Coach Falkner yesterday that you're going to be joining the hockey team. It's going to be great having another familiar face on the team.” Willem glanced over to see Mathias smiling and patting Gillian on the shoulder with Antonio and Christopher standing nearby and talking between themselves.

 

“ _ Ja _ , I can't wait for the practices to begin. I had been thinking about joining for some time, and the coach had been nagging at me for quite a while. So I thought, hey, why not go ahead and join if the coach thinks I'm really that good. Plus I've been getting ahead in my classes so I don't have as much of a workload to stress about. Might as well put something in that place, hm?” Gillian smiled, crossing his arms behind his head.

 

It made Willem roll his eyes as he continued gathering up his belongings and swinging his duffel bag over his shoulder.

 

“Yeah, the coach had actually talked quite highly about your hockey skills before. It kind of made me wonder why you had never joined before. But I'm glad to have you there,” Mathias said with a laugh.

 

Willem shook his head as he began to head towards the door of the locker room.

 

“Anyways, I'll catch up with you three in a little bit.”

 

A hand on his arm stopped Willem in his tracks as he was about to push open the door to head outside. Blinking in surprise, he glanced over his shoulder to see Mathias standing there, hair in a spiky disarray. “Hey.”

 

“Hey,” Willem responded slowly, leaning his shoulder against the wall near the door. Raising an eyebrow, he nodded his head towards where the trio of friends were all talking quietly among themselves. “I figured that you were busy with them.” It came out as more of a question than a statement, Willem silently cursing his own uncertainty.

 

Shaking his head, Mathias leaned against the wall next to Willem. “No. Or I mean, not exactly. Gillian was just talking about how he's going to be joining the hockey team since the coach finally convinced him to, I guess. It's always good to have another reliable teammate, though we'll have to see how it all pans out with his actual skills.”

 

Willem ran a hand back through his hair, feeling exhausted. “Hockey…” The sport where Mathias and Lukas were on a team together… “Yeah, that sounds great.” He wanted to feel upset, but he just felt drained. “I'm sure if the coach was insisting that he join, then he must be at least somewhat decent.” It wasn't as though Willem really knew much about Gillian to be a fair judge of that himself.

 

“Yeah, all of the other team members are looking forward to it. Or most of them, at least,” Mathias said with a shrug, and it was there for only a split second, but Willem could've sworn that Mathias just grimaced.

 

It was an interesting revelation that made his thoughts want to spiral into a hundred other possibilities, but he pushed that to the side for right now. “That's good. Hopefully the team will be able to work together and you guys will do well.” Willem nudged open the door, stepping out with Mathias in tow since the other had yet to let go of Willem's arm. “So about last night--”

 

“Mathias.”

 

The icy voice caused both of them to freeze, though Mathias was the one who recovered first, pulling his hand away from Willem. “Hey, Lukas. How were your classes today?” he said, turning towards the overhang where his boyfriend was waiting in the shade though he made no move to go towards him. It confused Willem but he wasn't going to focus on that right now.

 

Willem turned slowly in Lukas's direction, his expression carefully neutral as he took in Lukas's appearance. Compared to Mathias and Willem, the man looked remarkably well-rested. His chin-length hair was straightened and had been dyed a platinum blond, the fringe being pinned back out of his face. His jaw was set in a stubborn line with lips that seemed to always be pulled back into an eternal scowl. Cold, gray eyes held little friendly emotion as they trailed their gaze over Willem. He wore expensive-looking black slacks and a pale blue silk long-sleeve button-up with a navy vest on top of it. The black dress shoes he wore looked as though they had just been recently polished.

 

The way Lukas carried himself was obviously that of someone who had been pampered and pretty much fed everything on a silver spoon. The clothes he was wearing, if Willem had to take a guess, more than likely cost more than Willem's entire closet combined. It made him cringe internally at the sheer wastefulness of money. There was a cockiness and arrogance in Lukas's demeanor that covered up an even darker side to the man that Willem could see. It was cold, calculating, ruthless...and heartless. Looking into his eyes, those dead gray eyes, Willem could tell that he had no soul. And the eyes never lied.

 

Willem hated him.

 

“You're late, Mathias,” Lukas stated, crossing his arms as he glanced at the watch on his wrist, blatantly ignoring Willem for the time being.

 

Mathias sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Lu, we literally just finished practice. We ran a little bit over because the coach was talking to us about the upcoming game that we have this upcoming Tuesday. It was important.”

 

Polishing his nails against his shirt, Lukas scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Well if that coach can't do his job right, then he should be fired.”

 

“Lukas…” Mathias's voice was tight, which Willem knew was a sign that he was starting to get upset or angry. What Mathias even saw in that asshole to justify staying with him for so long, Willem would never be able to understand or see.

 

Before Mathias could say anything else, another voice cut in. “Actually, the entire point is that the coach  _ is _ doing his job. Besides, there's never a set ending time to the practices. It ends when it ends. With the season finals getting so close, the practices are going to be a bit longer just so that we  _ can _ make sure that we're well-prepared for the games,” Antonio stated as he stepped out of the locker room with Gillian and Christopher close behind him.

 

The presence of the other three seemed to only darken Lukas's mood, causing him to turn away with a huff. “Whatever you say.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm. It ate away at Willem's nerves and the thin control that he had on his rising temper.

 

Before he could even think to do anything rash though, Christopher spoke up. Willem didn't know much about the guy, other than the fact that he always seemed to hang out with either Antonio or Gillian, was good with computers, and spoke with a French accent. “Again, we have a game on Tuesday, so we need all the practice that we can get to fine-tune our skills. It's going to be one of the biggest games of the season because it's going to decide if our team will move onto the semi-finals and give us a chance at making it to the finals.” He seemed to pause in thought for a few brief seconds. “ _ Surely _ you must've known about the game? The whole school knows about it and everyone is going to be there. I would think that  _ you _ would be there in honor of your boyfriend participating in the game?”

 

To Willem's surprise, Mathias opened his mouth as if to protest before his gaze cut over to Lukas. Whatever he had been about to say, he must've thought better of it, merely rubbing the back of his neck with a perplexed expression on his face.

 

Crossing his arms, Lukas raised an eyebrow, tapping his fingernails along the length of his forearm. “Of course I'm going to be going. I've gone to almost every single one of Mathias's games. How could I not? For all of our differences, I still love him.”

 

Willem narrowed his eyes slightly, thumbing the strap of his duffel bag. That line from Lukas felt like it had been rehearsed too many times. There was no way that he would be that caring or that he even was capable of love. It had to all be part of an act in order to gain sympathy and maintain his image as a caring boyfriend in front of everybody. The worst part of it was that everybody seemed to believe it. It made Willem want to slam his head against the wall in frustration that nobody could see how  _ fake _ and  _ two-faced _ Lukas was acting.

 

“Well if that's the case,” Gillian spoke up, clapping his hands together in front of himself like he just had a brilliant idea, “this Sunday we're going to be having a bonfire. You know, just to relax and hang out that evening before the game on Tuesday. You're welcome to come out and join all of us since I know Mathias is going to be there.”

 

“Actually--” Mathias tried to speak up but he was cut off by Lukas, causing Mathias to bite his tongue. It made Willem want to punch Lukas in the face. Not to mention that it seemed like Gillian was speaking for Mathias without his consent.

 

“Well then, I would love to go. You will give me the directions after the meeting the hockey team has on Saturday, since I presume you'll be there, Gillian,” Lukas instructed, jutting his chin out like a petulant prince. “I would've been offended if you hadn't invited me.”

 

Gillian let out a laugh before going over and giving Lukas a pat on the back that seemed to almost knock the wind out of the shorter male. “Don't worry, buddy. We wouldn't want that. Besides, it'll be fun to have some bonding time together. You always end up showing up to watch Matt but you never really stick around for any of us to get to know you,” Gillian stated, the guiding hand on Lukas’s back causing the man to walk forward as Gillian continued to talk. “Obviously we don't know each other that well, but when I was talking to Coach Falkner yesterday, he said that you were definitely one of the top players on the hockey team. I know he's praised my skills, but I doubt I have the same experience as you do…”

 

Willem couldn't help but to stare in awe as Gillian struck up the conversation with Lukas and guided him away from where the others were standing. He raised an eyebrow as he glanced over at Mathias who shrugged and returned his bewildered expression. Apparently this was something unusual. Willem wouldn't have thought that Lukas would have been so easily sidetracked.

 

A chuckle behind him caused him to glance over his shoulder to see Christopher cleaning his glasses on his shirt. “For all of his arrogance and smug demeanor, Gillian is quite charismatic and charming when he wants to express it.”

 

“Except for with women,” Antonio interjected with a laugh, patting Christopher on the back.

 

“ _ Oui, oui.  _ Though he does have a maiden who has stolen his heart,” Christopher said dramatically, pressing his hand against his own chest and making a swooning motion.

 

Mathias seemed to perk up a bit as the conversation drifted. “Yeah? How did that happen? I thought that he was afraid on women. Like, some sort of really bad phobia or that?”

 

Willem let out a silent breath and shook his head. “Not to interrupt anything, but I need to go,” he said, shifting his duffel bag onto his shoulder. He was about to turn and leave when he noticed Mathias's smile fading.

 

“Wait, where are you going? I thought we were going to study…?” Mathias trailed off, raising an eyebrow as his expression began to turn into one of concern.

 

It was then that Willem knew that Mathias was right. They  _ had _ made plans for them to end up studying together and having pizza delivered to their dorm. He had completely forgotten about it with as much as he had been focusing solely on getting through the day and being able to go back to the art studio and paint again. It wasn't like him to end up forgetting, and with the way that Willem hesitated, he knew that Mathias could tell.

 

Willem could see it in the way Mathias seemed to deflate, his shoulders slumping as he ran a hand through his hair. It made Willem immediately feel guilty and want to reach out and pull Mathias into a hug. He knew he couldn't bring himself to do that though. Especially not in front of the other people that were present. Not when his emotions were already as unstable as they were.

 

“I was thinking of going to the art studio to paint,” Willem explained, rubbing the side of his face tiredly.

 

“I'll go with you,” Mathias responded immediately without so much as a second thought.

 

It made Willem curious as to why he seemed to be so desperate to stay away from Lukas. Maybe things between them weren't as good as Mathias had been acting like they were today? But then what other reason could Mathias have for being so happy and less stressed out than he had been? The only possibility  _ was _ that things were getting better between them, right?

 

“You know you don't have to,” Willem said gently, making Mathias smile.

 

“I know, but I want to. Besides, we were planning on spending our time together anyways. It doesn't matter if it's in the art studio or the dorm,” Mathias reassured him, squeezing Willem's shoulder with a grin.

 

Willem stared into Mathias's eyes for a long moment, searching. He knew that last night was probably still affecting Mathias more than he was letting on. A big reason he was even coming with Willem probably had to do with the fact of not wanting him to end up passing out in the art room again and cause a repeat of the previous night. Willem could always try to reassure Mathias that he would make sure that his phone was charged and that he wouldn't end up falling asleep again. However, he knew that the only thing that would actually relieve any of Mathias's worries or fears was if he was physically there with him.

 

He sighed. “Yeah, okay. Let's go,” Willem relented, making Mathias beam.

 

“Alright, let's go,” he said, patting Willem's back before turning to Antonio and Christopher and waving at them. “We'll see you guys later.”

 

Honestly, it felt a little weird to Willem that the pair had been waiting nearby for them to finish talking and head off before they went on their own way as well. Were they eavesdropping? Not that Willem could say that it could even be considered eavesdropping when they were right there and had been talking with the rest of the group before everyone started splitting off on their own. He felt too tired to figure it out.

 

Waving them off, Willem walked with Mathias to the art studio, keeping a watchful eye on his friend. The way that there seemed to be a lightness to his step as he walked, how he seemed to be breathing easier… The way that his hair looked soft and silky in the sunlight…

 

“--Ned? Earth to Ned?” Mathias waved his hand in front of his face.

 

“Huh?” Willem blinked, scrunching his nose up. “What is it?”

 

“I was asking if you still wanted to get pizza or if we should get Asian instead. I have been having cravings for egg rolls for a while,” Mathias said, mussing up his hair with a shake of his head. Raising an eyebrow, he turned toward Willem. “Are you okay? You've been zoning out quite a bit today, it's seemed. If you're tired, we could always just head back to the dorm,” he suggested as Willem reached for the door and held it open.

 

He shook his head, fighting down the blush that threatened to creep its way up his neck. He really hoped that he hadn't been caught staring. “Regardless of whether I'm tired or not, I still have projects to finish, and so do you,” Willem pointed out.

 

Mathias's expression softened, placing his hand on Willem's arm as they stopped outside the art room that Willem had used the night before. “Are you okay though?”

 

Pausing, Willem gave a small shrug, ignoring the way that his pulse quickened with the way that Mathias looked at him. “It's not like I exactly slept all that well. I’ve been feeling pretty much like a zombie all day,” he explained. It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t the entire truth either though. There was no way that he would be able to tell Mathias everything that was bothering him, about all of his feelings, about how much he hated and didn’t trust Lukas… Mathias didn’t need him to end up ruining a relationship that he was already struggling to keep together. “Asian sounds good, by the way,” Willem added, diverting the conversation when it looked like Mathias was about to protest.

 

He smiled as Willem pushed open the door. “Alright. Asian it is. I’ll put in an order for delivery. What do you want to eat?” Mathias asked, following him into the room and plopping down at one of the tables with his backpack.

 

“Just surprise me. You know I’ll eat anything that isn’t spicy,” Willem said, placing his own bag down before gathering up all of the art supplies he had been using previously. Picking up a blank canvas and an easel, he sat across from Mathias at the table as the other pulled out his own sketch pad that he placed on the table before scrolling through his phone.

 

The idea of surprising Willem seemed to be genuinely making Mathias happy. Willem couldn’t understand why though. At the same time, perhaps that was just part of their rapport. It certainly wasn’t the first time that Mathias had gone out of his way to do something special for Willem, though it had been quite a few years since the last time that Willem could remember. After all, Mathias had a boyfriend to think of, much to Willem’s bitter regret.

 

“What are you working on?” Willem asked, nodding to the sketch pad whenever Mathias had put his phone down.

 

Mathias just shook his head with a sigh. “It’s nothing much. I’m just trying to work on a blueprint concept design for a cottage. Something cozy.” He chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “Something that I wish I’d actually be able to build someday, maybe…” Mathias sighed as he picked up one of his pencils and sketched a few lines across the paper. “Don’t you think that it would be nice to just be able to disappear somewhere? Have a place where nobody would be able to find you? This world is so...messed up, and there’s so many terrible people in it, and society is so corrupted… Sometimes I wish that it would all just disappear.” He looked over at Willem with a wry smile and a shrug before his expression became more serious, his eyes dark. “If you had the chance to just run away and disappear, to never have to look back and never have to deal with people again, would you take that chance?”

 

Willem paused in his painting, keeping his eyes firmly on the painting in front of him and the streaks of blue that filled the canvas. The ability to live a life without worry… The ability to just disappear off the face of the earth… Could he ever see himself doing that? He wasn’t certain. He wasn’t even sure why Mathias was bringing any of this up now. Maybe something bad did happen between him and Lukas, and now he was trying to find a way out of it. Maybe this was Mathias’s cry for help.

 

As much as Willem wanted to believe that, he would be a fool to think that Mathias would ever actually leave Lukas. The two had been together for so long already, and he was still constantly trying to fix any problems that came up between them. It made Willem’s heart feel shattered all over again just thinking of the love that the two of them must share for Mathias to be willing to go to such lengths to keep them together.

 

Sighing, Willem ran his free hand back through his hair. “I don’t know… Maybe if things ever got bad enough, I might consider it. I’d feel shitty for abandoning my siblings and mother though. Ma already had a husband who just disappeared in the middle of the night. She doesn’t need her son to end up doing the same…” He glanced over, noticing the way that Mathias grimaced.

 

“That’s right…” Mathias mumbled, tapping his pencil against his drawing pad in a slow beat. “I’d forgotten that your father left. Maybe I shouldn’t have--”

 

“It’s fine, Matt. Really,” Willem said, leaning against the back of his chair. “You don’t have to apologize for anything. I know I haven’t had an easy life. None of it is your fault. If anything…” he trailed off, biting his lip and looking away with a shake of his head.

 

“What is it?” Mathias insisted, leaning towards him from across the table.

 

Willem hesitated for a few moments, glancing at Mathias before turning his gaze down to the partially painted canvas in front of him. The blue paint on the canvas was almost the same color as Mathias’s eyes. Taking a steadying breath, Willem gently placed a few more strokes of paint with the brush in his hand. Painting helped. It helped him express his emotions better.

 

“If anything, meeting you and being friends with you was what helped me the most. It gave me the motivation to keep living and working through all of the hardships that were thrown my way.” Willem gave a shrug, catching Mathias’s smile from the corner of his eye. “Having you as a friend is what saved me from a much worse path in life.”

 

“You saved me too… More than you know…”

 

The words were such a faint whisper that Willem wasn’t sure if he had heard Mathias correctly. Before he could ask, there was a knock on the door that caused Mathias to go scurrying. Their food had arrived.

 

Sighing, Willem looked at the curves of blue and black on the canvas, replaying those words in his head.

 

_ More than you know… More than you know, Mathias... _


	6. Gillian

Honestly, part of him hated himself for doing this. His body already felt like it was starting to turn into a popsicle just from standing inside the ice rink. He hadn't even put his ice skates on yet and he was already regretting coming to the rink to try to practice.

 

At the same time, Gillian didn't have anyone to blame except himself since he was the one who had even suggested that he join the hockey team to be able to get close to Lukas. Get close to Lukas, serve as a buffer between him and Mathias when needed, and try to get evidence on Lukas. Those were his primary goals and what he needed to do.

 

He just really wished that it didn't have to be so damn cold. He felt like Rudolph with how red his nose was already getting. And he had only been there for twenty minutes!

 

Still, as much as he did hate it, this was a challenge that he needed to overcome. He was a bit out of practice with his skating, and he really needed to make sure that he was better prepared for when the practices started during the next couple of weeks. He was going to be exhausted, but the workout was worth it. 

 

As much as he wanted to just be able to focus on the skating practice itself, honestly he was far more excited about the detective work that he was going to be doing. As it stood, Gillian had quite successfully managed to gain Lukas's confidence. Or at least, Lukas didn't seem to disapprove of him.

 

Gillian felt lucky that he had managed to divert Lukas's attention away from Mathias and Willem the previous day. From what he had managed to sense, there was definitely a strong undercurrent of either hatred or resent between Willem and Lukas. The tension in the air had been palpable. It reminded Gillian of the way the air feels before a thunderstorm, making the hairs on the back of his neck want to stand on end.

 

If only there were a way to get Willem to talk… There had to have been something that happened that made Willem have that much hostility towards Lukas without saying so much as a word towards the man. He needed to find a way to know the history that the two of them had with each other. Actually, now that he thought about it, he didn’t even know how the three of them were even connected. What was the backstory of how Willem, Mathias, and Lukas all came to know each other? Gillian knew that Willem and Mathias had been friends for over a decade. Outside of that, he didn’t know how Mathias and Lukas knew each other, other than the fact that they were dating and had been together for at least the entire time they both had been in college.

 

What was the connection?

 

If only he had more answers… It seemed that with each passing moment he only had more questions that kept piling on top of each other. It would be nice if at least  _ some _ of them would end up being answered. The few cards of information that he knew seemed insignificant with the amount that he needed to know.

 

Sighing, Gillian ran his hands through his hair before throwing his hands up in frustration. “Argh! This is impossible!”

 

The coy giggle behind him made him flinch and nearly fall off the bench he was sitting on, his face flushing crimson with embarrassment. “It’s just lacing up a pair of skates. I would hardly call that the definition of impossible,” came the all too familiar voice that caused Gillian’s head to whip around so fast he felt like he’d get whiplash.

 

“A-Anneliese! What are you-- How did-- Why--?” It felt like his heart was about to explode out of his chest with the way that it hammered against his ribcage, making him feel suddenly lightheaded. He glanced over at where she was standing, her hair in its usual half-bun and a fluffy scarf around her neck that matched the sweater that she was wearing.

 

“Just breathe,” Anneliese said gently, sitting down on the opposite end of the bench from Gillian. Giving him space.

 

The space helped a little. Helped him clear his mind and reorganize his thoughts. “ _ Es tut mir Leid _ . I don’t like it whenever people sneak up on me. Bad memories,” he explained shortly, looking down at the unlaced skates still on his feet before bending over to start relacing them. “What--”

 

“Eliza’s brother ended up mentioning that you had went through with joining the hockey team. He had said that he had seen you heading over this way,” she said, smoothing out the fabric of her skirt with a soft hum. “I just wanted to check and see if that was really true or not.”

 

Gillian raised an eyebrow, his fingers stilling on the laces. “You...wanted to check if I was here? Why?” It just seemed far too… Actually he wasn’t sure what it seemed like. It surprised him, that much was certain. She had never acted like she cared about him before, so what possible reason could she have for coming all this way to see him?

 

She was silent for a few moments, causing Gil to look over at her expectantly. It wasn't often that she was at a loss for words since he had known her. She always seemed so quick-witted and sassy with an instant comeback. Now she was just sitting on the bench tiredly, fiddling with a fraying corner of the end of her scarf. It didn't look like she had slept well, even with as much as she was maintaining her perfect posture. Her make-up was smudged in places, like she had forgotten to wash it off the night before or put new make-up on that morning. Looking closer, he could see where her hair was slightly frizzy compared to her normally meticulous grooming.

 

Gillian quickly averted his gaze whenever he felt like he had been staring for too long. It was weird but seeing all of those little imperfections in her appearance...made him feel less nervous. Almost like a small weight had been lifted from his shoulders. It almost made him feel light-headed with how giddy he was feeling.

 

Clearing her throat, Anneliese glanced over at Gillian. “I only wanted to be able to thank you for the other day. For helping me. I wouldn't have made it to the audition in time if it hadn't been for you, as much as I hate to admit it.”

 

“Audition?” Gillian echoed hollowly with a small frown. “I thought you had said that it was for a lesson?”

 

“I said that, yes, and I did have one,” Anneliese agreed with a small nod before running her fingers through her hair, “but really, my focus was an audition for a part in a musical that the school is going to be hosting. There are supposed to be Broadway recruiters at the final event whenever it's performed. It would be a huge opportunity…” She trailed off, shaking her head and pressing her hands to her face.

 

It was the most worried and stressed out that Gillian had ever seen her. Even final exams never seemed to bother her before. But this must be a big deal if she was losing sleep over the possibility of not getting a call-back for the part that she was auditioning for. Or at the very least, it looked like she was exhausted and stressing out over the audition.

 

“You know, I never would’ve guessed that you would be one for musicals,” Gillian said, rubbing the back of his neck with a small laugh before finishing lacing up his skates. “I would’ve thought that you’re more into classical music or stuff like that. Especially with a violin.”

 

Anneliese scrunched up her nose before sighing and shaking her head. “I’ve never understand why everybody always assumes that…”

 

“Maybe just because you always act very--” Gillian started before he was cut off.

 

“What? Uptight? Bitchy? Self-absorbed? Arrogant? Full of herself? Stick in the mud? Preppy? Snobby? Vain? Overbearing? Pretentious?” she snorted wryly, raising an eyebrow as her gaze became focused on the loose threads of her scarf that she had been worrying with her thumb.

 

Gillian’s eyebrows furrowed together as he frowned. The things that she was mentioning sounded suspiciously like things that other people must have been saying either to her or behind her back about her if she managed to list them off in such quick succession. It made him cringe slightly, just because he knew he himself was guilty of calling her arrogant. Perhaps he had been too quick to judge at the time, though. Perhaps it wasn’t arrogance, but rather pride.

 

It still made that sharp knife of guilt stab into his heart. Crossing his arms over his chest, Gillian rubbed at his nose, sniffling from the cold. “I was going to say elegant and graceful and poised. You've always seemed like nothing ever bothers you, and you always have a witty comeback for everything…” Looking at her now, the tight ball of anxiety that often resided in his chest began creeping back in, winding its way tightly around his lungs and heart, constricting them. For all that Anneliese had acted unfazed by everything that other people had said about her, Gillian had a feeling that her emotions were as fragile as porcelain-- No, as fragile as a butterfly's wings. And he probably hadn't made her feel much better before when they had been taking classes together.

 

She tilted her head to the side, and after a small pause as she looked him over, she gave a small smile. “No one can ever be that unbreakable, Gillian,” she murmured, her smile fading as she looked out over the ice in the rink. “Everybody has a limit to what they can do or tolerate… We’re all only human after all. We’re not invincible…” Shaking her head, Anneliese clasped her hands together as she stood up, turning to face Gillian which made his heart sink down to his stomach. “Anyways, all I had wanted to do was come by to thank you for what you did the other day. You didn’t have to, but I appreciate that you did. I’ll let you get back to your practice. I hadn’t meant to interrupt you,” she said as she turned to walk away.

 

For a few moments, an overwhelming panic bubbled up inside of his chest, causing him to impulsively reach out. “W-Wait!” Gillian said as he grabbed her hand, his face flushed crimson. “You, uh…” Clearing his throat, he nodded to himself. “You’re welcome. I hope that you get the-- Get the part from your audition…” He trailed off, clearing his throat awkwardly as Anneliese looked down at him with a small smile.

 

There was something unreadable in the way that she looked at him which he couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was. “Thank you,” she said softly, patting his hand gently. “And I’ll never understand why you chose to join the hockey team, but I hope that you do well.”

 

Gillian quickly let go of her hand, clearing his throat once again. “I, uh--  _ Danke _ .” Honestly, part of him wished that he could just explain the situation of everything that had been going on and the real reason that he had joined the hockey team in the first place, but he knew that it would be a foolish move. He didn’t even know how he was managing to carry on a conversation with her for this long, even though it had truthfully only been a few minutes.

 

“ _ Bitte _ ,” came the quiet response, surprising Gillian. “I’ll see you around,” Anneliese said as she started to walk away. Pausing at the base of the stairs, she looked back at him. “And Gillian? Do try not to get hurt.”

 

With that, she was gone, leaving Gillian feeling far more emotionally shook up and confused than he’d been before. Letting out a groan, he doubled over, his elbows on his knees and his face pressed into his hands. Why did everything have to be so difficult? Why were emotions so difficult to understand and control? Why did his chest feel like it was simultaneously being stabbed and like it was about to explode?

 

Honestly, that brief exchange gave him more questions than answers, and he had actually been able to talk to her without fumbling over his words. For the most part, at least. Running his hands through his hair, he finished tying the laces of his skates, striding over to the edge of the ice rink and bracing himself on the dividing wall.

 

Despite the freezing cold that surrounded him, Gillian found himself feeling warm, a smile creeping its way onto his lips. Maybe Christopher and Antonio hadn’t been so wrong whenever they had insisted that Anneliese liked him. Or at the very least that she didn’t hate him. Of course, he was still too much of a coward to end up expressing anything to her, and he certainly had his own fears and barriers to work past. It was still nice knowing that...someone cared.

 

Part of him wished that he could have the courage to be like Antonio. To just be able to go up to the girl he likes and sweep her off her feet and be a knight in shining armor that had come to save her day. Gillian had heard all too many times the story of how Antonio had ended up rescuing Annabel from the group of idiots that had been harassing her at her workplace. That he had just swooped in and threatened the men that were making the crude comments and how he twisted the one’s arm that had tried to lay a hand on her. It made part of him feel envious of Antonio, that the Spaniard had such an easy time with being able to be a hero for the girl he was in love with.

 

Shaking his head, he groaned, rubbing his face. “Now’s not the time, Gil… You need to focus...” He had other things that he needed to be thinking about and trying to plan and practicing for that damnable hockey team. He had no business trying to think about a pretty girl, no matter how much Antonio and Christopher insisted that it was fine, that everything would be fine. “Focus…”

 

Taking a few deep breaths, he pushed himself out onto the ice, wobbling for a few moments before regaining his balance and beginning to skate laps around the rink. “Think… You just need to think…”

 

What did he know so far? He knew that Lukas and Mathias were in a relationship. He knew that Mathias and Willem had been best friends for a long time. He knew from the other day that Lukas and Willem hated each other. He knew that Lukas had a past of violence and that his family had paid people off to keep Lukas out of trouble and sent him off to some sort of reformative boarding school to keep their name from being tarnished.

 

What did he need to know? He needed to know how Mathias and Lukas came to know each other and to be together, why they were in a relationship in the first place. He needed to know how Mathias and Willem knew each other. He needed to know more about Lukas’s past, and Mathias’s past, and Willem’s past. He needed to know how much Mathias even knew about Lukas’s past too.

 

How was he going to figure any of that out?

 

Gillian glided to a stop at the edge of the rink, staring up at the ceiling. He had absolutely no clue in Hell how he would be able to pull off something like that. Regardless of how much Lukas seemed to not dislike him, Gillian knew that Lukas would never admit or talk about any of the things that he had done that would tarnish his reputation or image, especially with the extent that his parents went to conceal it. Gillian knew that Willem would never open up to him; the man had always been closed off to everyone except Mathias, but even then, it seemed that there were times where he tried to close himself off from even Mathias. Now when it came to Mathias…

 

The sound of a door slamming shut jolted Gillian out of his thoughts, causing him to hunch out of sight below the rink wall and press himself up against it as he listened to the raised voices that drew closer.

 

“You are absolutely  _ worthless _ , Tyrsen.” The voice was laced with icy venom, far different from the voice that Gillian had come to associate with Lukas. It was one that was meant to invoke fear. “You shouldn’t have kept me waiting… But no, I guess it’s more important for you to have your fun with your roommate rather than actually being  _ prompt _ about the things that  _ we  _ have to do.”

 

Gillian’s blood felt like ice in his veins. Though that was also likely because of his own fear of being caught by the pair while they were in the middle of what seemed to be an argument.

 

“Lukas, please… You know I have projects that are due soon. You know Willem and I are roommates and friends and help each other with homework… You’re blowing things out of proportion...” Mathias’s voice was meek and tired.

 

It sent a spike of anger through Gillian’s chest to know that some pathetic little twink had the nerve and capability of making Mathias sound so submissive.

 

“Blowing things out of proportion…” Lukas was quiet. He sounded calm. Too calm. Then there was a chuckle. A dark chuckle. “You think I’m blowing things out of proportion…”

 

There was a pause, Gillian swallowing thickly in anticipation as the footsteps came to a stop not too far away from where he was hiding. When Lukas spoke up again, the quiet rage in Gillian’s stomach was almost enough to make him want to puke.

 

“I  _ own _ you, Mathias. You belong to  _ me _ . No one else! You shouldn’t even  _ be _ roommates with anybody else. It’s supposed to be  _ me _ because you’re  _ mine _ !” His voice rose to a crescendo. “We should’ve already been living together. We should’ve already been a lot of things, but no, you had to drag me all the way to this forsaken college and keep me waiting and waiting and  _ waiting _ because you don’t give a  _ damn _ about my life!”

 

“Dragged you--” Mathias sounded incredulous, a sharp unamused laugh escaping his lips. “Lukas,  _ you _ are the one that followed me here. I never asked for you to, and I never  _ wanted _ you to. I came here to get an education, and you know I needed time--” There was a sharp crack of flesh on flesh that made Gillian wince, his hands curling into fists at his sides.

 

“Stop  _ bullshitting  _ me, Tyrsen. It’s been over four years! Nobody needs that much time. You’ve just been using me and playing with my emotions, and you  _ know  _ it,” Lukas hissed.

 

He was throwing a tantrum like nothing he was doing or the way he was acting was wrong. He was blaming everything on Mathias, when Mathias was just...scared and felt pressured from what Gillian could make out.

 

It made Gillian want to retract his previous statement that he had told Mathias at the beginning of the week. Mathias shouldn’t just dump Lukas’s ass; Lukas deserved to get beaten to a bloody pulp and have his face punched in and his fingers broken. It took all of Gillian’s self-restraint to not just jump over the rink wall and start doing it himself.

 

Maybe that was just Gillian’s thought process at the moment though. If Lukas really loved Mathias as much as he claimed he did when he was around everyone else and around other people, then Gillian knew that Lukas wouldn’t have raised a hand against Mathias. If someone truly loves somebody, then they would never lay a hand on them in that way, no matter how angry or upset that person might be with the other. That’s how Gillian was raised.

 

“We graduate in five months. You will not keep me waiting any longer than that, Mathias,” Lukas stated as his footsteps began to retreat in the direction of the changing room, “or you will regret it…”

 

The threat made Gillian shiver more than the bone-soaking cold of the ice rink. His mind raced back to all of the information that Christopher had ended up pulling up about the kid that Lukas had hospitalized back when he was still in only middle school. If Lukas was planning on doing anything like that to Mathias… The thought nearly made Gillian empty his stomach.

 

However, the only thing that kept him from doing so was the strangled whimper that fell from Mathias’s lips as he plopped down on one of the benches. “What am I going to do…” he whispered to himself forlornly.

 

Guilt gnawed at Gillian. This felt like a private, emotional moment that he wasn’t privy to. He shouldn’t  _ be _ here. He shouldn’t be listening in on Mathias. Clearing his throat, Gillian grabbed the top of the wall, pulling himself up to peek over. “I, uh, know this probably isn’t a good time…”

 

Mathias jolted out of his seat the moment that he saw Gillian’s head peeking over the wall, his blue eyes wide with surprise. He had been nursing the left side of his face. Glancing around quickly, Mathias hopped over the bench to get to Gillian. “What are you doing here?” he hissed quietly, grabbing Gillian’s arm and helping hoist him out of the ring with an almost desperate expression marring his features.

 

“I really didn’t mean to overhear anything, I swear. I got here early for the hockey team meeting so I could have the chance to practice a bit and clear my head… I wasn’t expecting-- I didn’t know…” Gillian waved his hands in front of him frantically, though he kept his voice as quiet as possible to keep any prying ears from listening in. 

 

Mathias’s shoulders slumped as he all but collapsed down onto one of the seats, his appearance haggard. “Right… You’re on the team. Sorry…” He rubbed at the dark circles under his eyes. “So you heard all of that…”

 

It wasn’t a question, but Gillian still felt obligated to answer it. “Yeah, I-- I did…” Sitting down next to Mathias, he rested a hand on his shoulder. “Things...don’t really seem that great between you two…” Actually, now that he thought about it, everything that he had heard Mathias say before had made it seem like Lukas was the one that kept trying to leave or do stuff to leave.

 

What Gillian had just heard… Lukas had pretty much just declared that Mathias was his property. That crossed so many lines in Gillian’s mind and morals.

 

“It’ll be fine. I’ll-- I’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about me, Gil. I’ve been with him for this long--”

 

“And you’re miserable…” Gillian murmured, eyebrows scrunching together. “Why don’t you just leave? Leave him?” There had to be some sort of logical explanation. Something that could possibly explain why someone would torture themselves with a relationship like that.

 

Mathias merely shook his head, watery eyes looking up at Gillian and a sad smile tugging at his lips. “I can’t…” He drew in a deep breath, looking down at his lap. “I care about-- I care about  _ him _ too much to leave…” he whispered, pressing the palms of his hands hard against his eyes.

 

Gillian stared at Mathias in disbelief. He wanted to pretend like he never heard those words. There was no way that what Mathias had just said could be true. After hearing the way that Lukas talked to him when he thought that nobody else was around, there was no way that Gillian could believe that Mathias still cared about somebody like that, somebody who  _ hurt _ him.

 

Maybe he wouldn’t be getting any answers out of Mathias after all. Gillian would’ve thought that of the three options that he had to get information, Mathias should’ve been the one that he could’ve gone to, but if his perception was that skewed, then Gillian was going to have to try to find another way to find out what he needed to know.

 

“Alright… Alright, I won’t press,” Gillian mumbled, withdrawing his hand with a sigh and running his hand through his hair. There were just so many mixed signals that were being given that Gillian wasn’t sure what he should even believe anymore. “Are you at least excited about the bonfire tomorrow?” he tried asking.

 

Sighing, Mathias sat up straight, raising an eyebrow and smiling. It wasn’t a full smile, but it was good enough for the moment. “Yeah, I’m looking forward to it. Mostly just the food though, as always. Didn’t Chris say that he was going to be making a bunch of desserts that he was going to end up bringing? I didn’t even know that he could bake.”

 

“As long as Tonio doesn’t end up eating them all,” Gillian said, unlacing his skates as he pulled his duffel bag out from under the bench and stuffing them in. “So I guess we’ll see if there’s even going to be any left…”

 

Honestly a large part of Gillian was starting to feel pissed off that he had even suggested Lukas come to the bonfire, after the exchange that he just heard between the couple. He hated the idea of having to give the directions to Lukas soon, and he hated having to act all buddy-buddy with the guy. He understood the importance of it, but he still hated it.

 

“Yeah… Well, I guess we should end up going to the meeting. That way we're not late,” Mathias stated, gathering up his belongings with a cheery smile back in place as if the verbal altercation with his boyfriend hadn't even happened.

 

“Right…” Gillian said slowly, squinting a bit as he stood up. Slipping his shoes back on, he gave a small nod, trailing behind the blonde as he led the way towards the coach's office.

 

Gillian really wanted to help Mathias. He truly did, and so did his friends. He just hoped that Mathias would be willing to accept their help if it ever came down to it, because at the moment, it didn't seem like Mathias was even willing to help himself…


	7. Mathias

A heavy sigh fell from his lips as he leaned against the railing of the roof of the ice rink, gazing out over the rest of the campus green. It was a beautiful day, all things considered. It was just a shame that he had ended up being in such a sour mood with how things had ended up transpiring with Lukas. Honestly, Mathias should have expected it. With how things had been going lately, it felt more and more as if Mathias was going to end up putting himself into an early grave. The fact that Gillian had somehow ended up being present and heard everything only made it that much more embarrassing.

 

As much as Mathias wanted to be able to trust Gillian and tell him everything, he couldn’t. He wasn’t capable of doing it. He had built up too many barriers and too much distrust towards people over the years for him to be able to just openly spill his guts about everything that had happened up until that point. He hadn’t even told  _ Willem _ everything, and Willem was his best friend.

 

Though if he was being honest with himself, Willem was far more than just a best friend. He would never be able to admit that to anyone else though. Not when his future was bound to Lukas. Being reminded of that fact, especially with the way that Lukas spoke of it, only filled him even more with despair. It made him feel like a slave: a slave to Lukas and a slave to his parents. For all their talk about love and doing what made him happy, they were quick enough to jump at the opportunity to increase their fortune.

 

He hated people and he hated society for making people even more corrupt. He wished that it would all just...go away, so he wouldn't have to deal with any of it ever again.

 

Even with as much as he wanted to though, Mathias knew that he wouldn't be able to, and it had nothing to do with his parents or Lukas. It was because he didn't want to end up losing Willem. Mathias knew that he would never be able to handle it if Willem wasn't there by his side. Willem would never leave everything behind though, Mathias knew that. He had his family, his siblings and mother, that he loved and had to think of. It made a small part of Mathias jealous that Willem had such a loving family that had endured so many hardships together and still were happy...

 

_ “And you’re miserable…” Gillian murmured, eyebrows scrunching together. “Why don’t you just leave? Leave him?” _

 

_ Mathias merely shook his head, watery eyes looking up at Gillian and a sad smile tugging at his lips. If only Gillian knew… It would make everything so much easier. But he would never understand. There probably wasn't anybody who would understand the difficulties that Mathias was struggling with. _

 

_ “I can’t…” He drew in a deep breath, looking down at his lap. “I care about-- I care about  _ **_him_ ** _ too much to leave…” he whispered, pressing the palms of his hands hard against his eyes. He couldn’t just leave when Willem would end up staying. It would rip his heart in two, knowing that he would've left the one person that had always been there for him. _

 

It was hard, acting all the time like he was happy even when he always felt so...lonely. It felt like his hands were tied and he had no way to have a happy ending, even though he refused to end up being miserable for the rest of his life. There had to be a way.

 

Sighing, Mathias ran a hand through his hair, staring down at the grass below. Closing his eyes, he listened to the distant, indistinguishable chatter of the other students, the wind rustling the leaves of the trees, the birdsong as sparrows took flight. The sounds of nature and the warmth of the sun on his skin were like a balm to his nerves.

 

It helped him think.

 

He had five months. Five months of freedom left until he had to figure out some way to escape the fate that was planned for him. Five months… They were going to be graduating at the end of April, so he had to have a plan in place by the middle of the month.

 

Five months until he would likely never see Willem again…

 

The thought made his stomach twist into knots, the bitterness of bile rising in the back of his throat.

 

_ I can't do this… I can't lose him. I know he doesn't feel the same way about me, but I just can't-- I can't lose everything that we have, our friendship, our memories… I can't-- _

 

The sound of the door behind him closing startled Mathias out of his thoughts. Whirling around, he half-expected Lukas to be standing there in order to continue berating him and yelling at him again. The other half of him hoped that Willem would be standing there, summoned by his thoughts of distress. Instead, it was someone he didn't expect and who looked just as equally surprised to see him up there as well.

 

“Christopher?”

 

“Ahh, I see someone else is already using this hiding spot,” he stated, pushing his glasses up with a sheepish smile. His light brown hair was pulled up into a bun. It only seemed to accentuate the worry that creased the corners of his eyes. “If it's not too much of a bother, I hope you don't mind me staying up here. If not, I can leave.”

 

“No, no, you don't have to leave, Chris,” Mathias responded quickly, rubbing the back of his neck with a laugh. “I was just getting some fresh air, was all. If it's something that's that bad that you'd have to come up here, then I'm definitely not going to just kick you out.”

 

His response seemed to relieve some of Christopher's visible concern and worry, but there still seemed to be something that was putting him on edge. “ _ Merci beaucoup. _ ”

 

Mathias didn't know what it could possibly be, but he wasn't going to pry. Leaning back on the railing, he let his gaze drift over the forms of students that were walking below, feeling almost envious at their freedom.

 

Christopher walked over to the railing, leaning next to him. A few moments of peaceful silence passed as they both watched everybody else before Christopher glanced over at Mathias, his lips pursed. “So how did you and Lukas meet?”

 

Mathias raised an eyebrow, not expecting the question. Though perhaps it had more to do with the fact that he didn't want to think about Lukas right now. “Why do you ask?”

 

The other frowned for a moment before shrugging nonchalantly and looking down at his fingernails, picking dirt out from beneath the nails. “I guess It's just that with as much as we're friends, and with as long as we've been teammates, and with as long as everyone has known that you and Lukas have been together, I don't remember you ever mentioning how you two came to know each other or why you decided to be in a relationship together. You must love him very much if you've been together with him for so long, even with the way he's treated you.” Christopher gave a knowing look as he stared at Mathias's face.

 

Turning away, Mathias sighed, rubbing at the tender spot on his cheek where Lukas had slapped him earlier before the meeting. He hated being asked questions like these. He hated having to lie and pretend that he felt things for Lukas that he didn't feel and that he never had felt in the first place. There was no way that he could just explain his entire life situation though.

 

It was easier to just stick to the basics. “Our parents knew each other for quite a while and they had introduced us when we were young. We never really saw each other too often, especially after Lukas went off to some fancy boarding school for a while. We didn't end up seeing each other again until our senior year of high school. That's…” Mathias forced a smile, “when we became a couple.” Just saying those words made him feel nauseous.

 

“He went off to a boarding school?” Christopher raised his eyebrows in surprise, letting out a low whistle. “Do you know why? It seems weird to just suddenly up and move to a new school…”

 

Shrugging, Mathias plopped himself down onto the roof, leaning back on the palms of his hands as he stared up at the cotton ball clouds that dotted the sky, Christopher soon joining him. “His parents had been getting really busy with their jobs, so they needed the time to be able to travel uninhibited for their work, and it was better for them to just send him off to a boarding school rather than him be stuck alone at home.”

 

At that, Christopher frowned, his eyebrows scrunching together. It appeared as though something was troubling him, though Mathias couldn't even begin to fathom what it might be. “That must've been awful…to just be shipped off like that…” he said eventually, shaking his head.

 

“Life sucks sometimes,” Mathias agreed, letting out a breath as his eyes slipped closed. “He always did end up saying that he was thankful to get the hockey training out of it that he did, though, and he is one of the better players on our team.” As much as he hated to admit it, Lukas still was a good hockey player, no matter how much he hated that Lukas was using and manipulating him. Mathias couldn't deny skill.

 

Christopher didn't say anything, seeming to be deep in thought, but Mathias didn't mind. It gave him more time to think and try to relax. As always, he found his mind drifting to happier days, younger days.

 

_ “Alright, class. Today we will be working on writing a proper letter. We have been paired up with another school in this program, and each of you will write a letter to one of the other students,” the teacher explained as she walked around the classroom, handing out the pieces of paper with each student's information on it. _

 

_ A collective groan rose from half of the class, all of whom would rather be outside playing instead of doing actual work as any ten year old would. Mathias himself was apprehensive about the assignment, not necessarily feeling the desire to share his life's story with a complete stranger. It wasn't as though they would end up becoming friends, because Mathias knew that once his assignment partner ended up finding out about his parents and the type of money that his family had, then it would all end up devolving into a bunch of pleas for Mathias to end up sending them stuff. He already had enough of people in his school doing that; he didn't want to have to hear it from another. _

 

_ Still, he wrote his letter as he was supposed to, talking about his hobbies and sports he played, about his golden retriever Solski, and about his family and how his parents were always busy so he usually spent his time alone or occasionally with their butler François. The taste of the stamp was horrible, Mathias placing the little square on the corner of the envelope with a grimace and writing Willem's name in the middle. He wasn't expecting much in return, but at least he got a good grade for the assignment, so that was what mattered, right? _

 

_ Nevertheless, he still couldn't help the anxious feeling that remained in his stomach as the days dragged by, waiting for the day that his letter would be returned. At several points, Mathias began to think that the Willem kid that he had written to wasn't going to end up writing a letter in response, but that was more due to the impatience of a young boy than any length of time that passed. In reality, it only took a week for the letters to be returned, though Mathias could've sworn that it had been at least a month. _

 

_ While most of the others tore into their letters right then and there, Mathias waited, saving that experience for when he was alone within the safety of his room where he could savor the response in private. His hands trembled with anticipation as he cautiously opened the letter. Part of him wasn’t expecting too much out of this assignment, that he would just end up being shown once again how trivial and pointless it was to be around humans. The other part of him wanted to still have hope that this time would be different, and as his gaze pored over the meticulously neat writing that lined the page, he was glad that he still had hope. _

 

> _ Dear Mathias Tyrsen, _
> 
>  
> 
> _ My name is Willem, and I really liked the letter that you sent. You sound like a really cool person, and I know that I’m looking forward to writing to each other more. _
> 
>  
> 
> _ My favorite hobbies to do are reading, writing, swimming, and surfing, but above anything else, I love art and taking care of animals and flowers, even though I keep getting teased that flowers are girly… _
> 
>  
> 
> _ I think it’s cool that I’m also on my school’s soccer team, just like you are! I bet it would be fun to play together someday. I know I would really look forward to it a lot. My favorite color is blue, and my favorite flowers are tulips and forget-me-nots. _
> 
>  
> 
> _ Your dog, Solski, sounds adorable. I’ve always wanted to have a dog, but my little brother is allergic to them. So instead, I have a rabbit named Mimsy. She has really fluffy white fur, and she likes to lay on my lap whenever I draw. I don’t mind it though. (Did you know that rabbits can die from loneliness?) _
> 
>  
> 
> _ I have two younger siblings. My sister is Annabel, and she’s eight right now. Then there’s my brother Lysander, and he’s six right now. Our mom works as a costume designer for one of the theaters here, and I get to help her sometimes. Plus I have to help look after Annabel and Lysander when she's busy so she can get work done. _
> 
>  
> 
> _ I'm sorry that your parents are never really around. Even with friends, I'm sure that it would end up getting really lonely. I know that I get lonely a lot too. I have my siblings, but it’s a lot of work taking care of them with mom being gone a lot and working so hard to take care of us after our dad disappeared… _
> 
>  
> 
> _ I’m glad that you have your butler to help keep you company. I’m sure it makes things easier, knowing that you have somebody there to be by your side when you need it. I don’t really have that many friends either, so I know how lonely life can feel sometimes whenever you don’t have anybody that you can go to talk to about things or to be able to be yourself around. People are pretty mean and stupid either way, which is one of the reasons why I love plants and animals so much. _
> 
>  
> 
> _ That’s why I’m glad that I at least have Mimsy to talk to, even though she doesn’t really say anything back. I get worried a lot that when I’m at school that she’ll get too lonely though, and that she won’t be home when I come back. Sorry if that sounds stupid. I’ll try to get a picture of her to send to you next time. I know that you would love her. _
> 
>  
> 
> _ Anyways, I should probably stop writing before this letter gets too long. I can’t wait to hear back from you and I look forward to talking to you again soon. Or at least, as soon as the mail gets delivered, which will hopefully be soon. _
> 
>  
> 
> _ Sincerely yours, _
> 
> _ Willem E. de Fortuyn _
> 
>  
> 
> _ P.S. I’ll send some of the poems and drawings that I’ve done next time if you’re interested in seeing them. I wish I could’ve sent them this time, but I’m writing this at school so I can’t get the papers I want to send right now. _
> 
>  
> 
> _ P.P.S. Did you know that baby rabbits are called kittens? Rabbits also like to purr when they’re happy and content! _
> 
>  

_ Mathias stared at the letter for a long time, reading and re-reading each word that had been so carefully written. At first, he wasn’t even sure what he should think about Willem. Part of him felt like it was some sort of trick, that he was just being so nice and sympathetic in order to get Mathias to let his guard down. However, he did have to admit that he thought the kid’s enthusiasm over rabbits and all of the facts that he sent was rather endearing. _

 

_ He spent the rest of the night writing his own letters in response. _

 

The faint noise of someone clearing their throat pulled Mathias out of his memories, glancing over at Christopher with a raised eyebrow. “Hm?”

 

Christopher shook his head, taking his hair out of its bun and running his fingers through it. “Just thinking… You must really care about Lukas to hold him in such high regard,” he said slowly, his gaze sharp and calculating as he stared at Mathias.

 

It made him want to squirm under the intensity of his gaze, but he instead just stared blankly back at Christopher. “He's my boyfriend,” Mathias responded in the only way he knew how without lying.

 

Rubbing his chin in thought, Christopher finally looked away. “Yes, I suppose that you're right…” he murmured, even though Mathias felt like he wasn't convinced. Something seemed to be on his mind, and Mathias was scared to imagine just what it could be.

 

Instead, he chose to change the subject. He didn't want his emotions to be exposed to the world yet, because he dare not witness the consequences of his feelings just yet. “So why exactly are  _ you _ hiding up here exactly?” Mathias asked, stretching his legs out in front of him and looking down at his feet.

 

At that, Christopher merely shook his head with a grin. “Who said I was hiding, dear Mathias?” His grin soon faded though as he sighed, leaning back against the railing. “...Life is rather difficult,  _ non _ ? Living life. Trying to love life. Trying to love being alive. Finding what you’re passionate about. Finding the love of your life…” Another wistful sigh slipped from his lips as he stared up at the wisps of cirrus clouds that streaked across the sky like brushstrokes. “Love is a long road to travel down,  _ mon ami _ , but I would say that it is one that is the most worthwhile when you’ve found the right person to go travel that road with.”

 

Blinking, Mathias glanced over at Christopher, his heart feeling like it was in his throat at the way that the man seemed to be staring straight through him and into his soul. He found it disconcerting. Opening his mouth to talk, he found the words soon dying on the tip of his tongue as Christopher cut him off.

 

“What are your feelings towards Willem?”

 

The question made Mathias freeze, his blood feeling like ice in his veins. A prickling sensation filled his hands and legs as they went numb. Maybe it was just from sitting down for so long. Mathias doubted it though. There was no way that anybody could have guessed his emotions; he was so sure of it.

 

Putting on a smile, he laughed, reaching over and giving Christopher a light punch on the arm. “C'mon, dude. You know he's my best friend and my roommate. There's nothing else between us. You know that.”

 

Christopher merely hummed, rubbing his arm absentmindedly as his gaze grew distant. “Perhaps you're right…” he murmured, almost to himself, seeming to drop the question for the time being.

 

Mathias desperately hoped so. If anybody knew… If  _ Lukas _ ended up finding out… If  _ Willem  _ knew… Gods, what would  _ Willem _ even think of him if he knew that Mathias had been harboring these feelings for him for so long? It would turn into a disaster. Willem already had his life planned out, it felt like, and Mathias knew that Willem wasn't willing to give it up just to be able to run away together. Maybe Mathias should learn to accept that and move on with his life, forget his feelings, forget  _ Willem _ …

 

_ “Mathias. Mathias, relax. Hey, it's just me. Calm down. Deep breaths, Matt.” _

 

_ “Did he hurt you? Did. Lukas. Hurt. You.” _

 

_ “Matt, it's fine. I don't mind if you wear my clothes. We're close enough to the same size. I'm not that much taller than you… I would just be wary about wearing anything around Lukas, because of the way he would take it and how he would be bound to react. That's not something I'm willing for you to go through. Do you understand?” _

 

_ “Regardless of whether I'm tired or not, I still have projects to finish, and so do you. It's not like I exactly slept all that well. I’ve been feeling pretty much like a zombie all day.” _

 

_ “I don’t know… Maybe if things ever got bad enough, I might consider it. I’d feel shitty for abandoning my siblings and mother though. Ma already had a husband who just disappeared in the middle of the night. She doesn’t need her son to end up doing the same…” _

 

_ “It’s fine, Matt. Really. You don’t have to apologize for anything. I know I haven’t had an easy life. None of it is your fault. If anything… If anything, meeting you and being friends with you was what helped me the most. It gave me the motivation to keep living and working through all of the hardships that were thrown my way. Having you as a friend is what saved me from a much worse path in life.” _

 

Mathias let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair. He was a damned fool if he thought that he could ever just end up forgetting about Willem, even if Willem only ever thought of him as a friend. It would be okay. Mathias was used to the heartache. It was something that he would just have to learn to live with, whether he liked it or not. It was the only way that he knew that he would still be able to keep Willem in his life.

 

Standing up, Mathias stretched his arms over his head, groaning whenever his back cracked and popped several times. He turned to Christopher with a smile, picking up his bag. “Hey, sorry to have to run on you like this, but I need to go work on my architecture project for a while, just so I can get some more done on the blueprint. I hope you don’t mind.”

 

Christopher merely shook his head, standing up as well, though he kept his own backpack on the rooftop. “No, no, I understand. It’s perfectly fine. I just hope that things go well for you, Mathias…” he murmured, placing a hand on Mathias’s shoulder and giving it a friendly squeeze. “If you need anything, I’m always willing to listen or to talk.”

 

He slowly nodded his head, giving Christopher a smile. It certainly wasn’t what he had been expecting from the other man, and even if Mathias wasn’t willing to accept the offer, the gesture was still appreciated. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, giving the other a quick hug and starting towards the door.

 

“Oh, and Mathias?”

 

He stopped in his tracks, glancing back as he opened the door of the building. “Hm?”

 

“I’ll see you at the bonfire tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll see you then,” Mathias replied, waving. Stepping inside the building, Mathias grimaced as the door closed behind him, his shoulders slumping. He really didn’t want to go, knowing that Lukas was going to be there. Unfortunately, he didn’t have a choice in the matter.

 

_ But what’s the worst that could end up happening though? _


	8. Annabel

She sighed as she looked at the time, her fingers impatiently tapping against her arm as each second passed. He hadn’t called her yet like he was supposed to, and it was starting to make her worried that something might have happened to him while she wasn’t there to be able to help. The thought kept nagging at her as she chewed on her nail, her leg bouncing as she stared at the computer screen in front of her. He wasn’t even showing up as being online yet, which was unusual considering how punctual he always was.

 

“Hhh… I don’t like this…” Annabel mumbled, resisting the urge to go into a complete panic and anxious breakdown.

 

“Hey, it’ll be fine,  _ mi amor, _ ” Antonio murmured in response, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pressing a gentle kiss to her temple as they watched the screen together. “I’m sure that he’ll be on soon. Didn’t you say that the last time that you two spoke, he said that he had some exams that would be coming up that he’s been needing to study for? Plus there is the time difference to consider on top of that.”

 

Annabel sighed, leaning her head back against Antonio’s shoulder and lacing her fingers between his. “I know, I know. I just can't help but to worry though. He's never been this late for a call before…” She trailed off as Antonio gently pressed another kiss to her cheek and ran his fingers through her hair.

 

“It's okay to worry. He's still seventeen, almost eighteen though. He's not a baby,” Antonio added gently, and Annabel knew that her boyfriend was right. She probably was just overreacting, since there seemed to have been just so many things lately that had been spiraling out of her control. That mainly being Willem and him acting even more distant than before, and whatever drama that was going on behind the scenes with Lukas and Mathias.

 

She felt out of her depth.

 

“I know, but I can’t stand the thought of something happening to him too…” she murmured, running the pads of her fingers against the soft warmth of Antonio’s hand. “What if--” The sharp ringing that echoed from the computer cut Annabel off, making her nearly jump and scramble to answer the call. A familiar face soon popped up on the screen.

 

“Sorry that I’m calling late, Annabel. I was in the middle of a few things,” the young man stated, running a hand through wavy blonde hair. Spotting Antonio, he gave a small smile and wave. “It's good to see both of you.”

 

“Lu-Lu, you worried me! Are you okay?” Annabel asked, leaning forward with a frown as she tried to look him over the best that she could from her side of the screen.

 

“Sis, I'm fine. I keep telling you that,” he murmured tiredly.

 

“I keep telling her that you'll be fine and that you can take care of yourself, but she doesn't always listen to me,” Antonio conceded, causing Annabel to pout and lean against him more heavily. The gesture only made Antonio grin and wrap his arms more snugly around his girlfriend, for which Annabel was grateful. “So how are things going over there, Lysander?”

 

Annabel's brother gave a tired smile, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “It's going fine. Just lots of studying and projects to be working on. Senior year has been a real killer, but I also have a few meetings that I'm trying to get set up with some photographers and fashion designers. I have most of the clothing samples designed and made. It's just trying to get the exposure needed, and eventually the suppliers, to be able to start making and selling them.” He stretched his arms above his head, his green eyes glowing with pride. “Of course, I have been having help with all of it, so I can't say that I can take all of the credit for it--” Lysander was cut off by a voice in the background, turning his head in that direction and waving.

 

Annabel leaned forward, straining to hear what the other person was saying. Was it their mother? It had to be, right? It seemed odd that she would be home instead of out at work like she almost always was, though. It would be nice to know that Lysander wasn’t spending all of his time alone and that their mother was there for him since Annabel and Willem couldn’t be.

 

It was something that had always stressed Annabel out whenever Willem had first left for college across the country, and then Annabel eventually following suit. The youngest sibling had always been so used to having at least one of his siblings around that Annabel had worried that if  _ she _ ended up leaving too, especially when their mother was gone for most of the day working, then Lysander would end up being left alone and have no one to be able to go talk to. That was the last thing that Annabel had wanted. She had always told Lysander that he could call and talk to her whenever he wanted or needed, but that proved to be difficult at times due to conflicting time zones and schedules.

 

However, as Annabel listened more closely to the voice in the background, she could tell that it was distinctly male. “Lu-Lu, who is that?” she asked, raising an eyebrow as Lysander merely turned and grinned at her.

 

“Like I said, I've been getting help with the clothing line. We ended up meeting at the college here from when I was taking my dual-enrollment courses. He's a really amazing designer and photographer. His grandfather has a studio downtown that he helps out at, and we usually spend quite a bit of time there whenever we don't have classes or aren't busy with other things,” her brother explained, leaning back in his chair. He glanced off to the side again, waving his arm to motion his visitor over to the computer. “Xio, come over and say hello.”

 

There were a few loud thumps on the other side of the screen, followed by what sounded an awful lot like a string of muttered curses before finally a head of brown hair popped into the frame. There was a small scowl on the man’s face until he sighed and rubbed one of his cheeks, hazel eyes dancing back and forth between Annabel and Antonio. “ _ Ciao _ , I’m Xiomara, but everyone just calls me Xio. Call me whatever you like.”

 

“Hello Xio, it’s nice to meet you,” Annabel responded gently. To her, it seemed like Xio felt incredibly uncomfortable with talking to them over the computer, but she didn’t have any idea on how to alleviate any of his possible worries or concerns. Luckily, it looked like she wouldn’t have to, her brother gently resting his hand on Xio’s back.

 

“Yeah! It’s not every day that Lysander tells us that he’s brought somebody home with him. Actually, I don’t think we’ve ever heard of Lys talking too much about  _ anybody _ before,” Antonio piped up, his free hand scratching his chin in thought. “I think there were a few vague mentions in passing, but no details. It’s good to see that he has such a good friend though! It's a relief to know that he's not alone.”

 

A small smile tugged at the corners of Annabel's lips as she leaned into Antonio's arm. It really was a relief for her to know that her leaving home to go to college didn't cause her brother to isolate himself. After all, ever since he had been little Lysander had always been an outgoing, talkative, and friendly kid even with the difficulties that they had faced in life together as a family. Losing a parent and having another be mostly absent because of work had been difficult, but Annabel liked to think that it had forged all of them into better and stronger people because of it.

 

Xio rubbed the back of his neck, shrugging. “Yeah, well, that's what...friends are for.”

 

There was something off about the tone of his voice, but Annabel couldn't quite place it. It seemed like Lysander knew exactly what was troubling the man. Holding up a finger to Annabel, Lysander muted his end of the call, turning away so that they couldn't make out what he was saying. All that she could tell was that Xio kept shaking his head at whatever her brother was saying to him. Eventually after a few more moments of hesitation, Xio left the room, Lysander turning back to the screen with a sigh as he unmuted the call.

 

“I'm sorry about that,” Lysander murmured, a weak smile on his face. “Don't worry about anything. Everything is fine, and before you even try to ask, Antonio, it's not my place to divulge the information so please don't pry.”

 

Antonio opened his mouth as if to protest, but eventually he just ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. “Okay… But you let him know that if he needs somebody to talk to about anything, especially if it’s serious, I’m always available and willing to be a listening ear. I’m not getting a degree in psychology for nothing, after all.”

 

Annabel smiled, patting Antonio’s hand. She knew how much he wanted to help, but something told her that her brother had everything under control. It was heartwarming to be able to see just how protective of Xio that Lysander was. He definitely had grown up since the last time the siblings had all lived together under the same roof.

 

“I know, Antonio, and I appreciate the offer but I can handle it just fine on my own. He would talk to me far better than he would to you anyways, since it takes him quite a while to warm up to strangers,” Lysander stated with a nod, though the gentle smile on his lips showed that he meant no harm or offense by the statement. It was merely a fact.

 

It didn't keep Antonio from slumping in the chair with disappointment though. Annabel knew he would be fine in a few minutes. “So what else does Xio like to do?” she asked, changing the subject.

 

Lysander tilted his head, brushing a few locks of hair out of his face. “Well, he used to do fencing for quite a while, but that was before his leg was...injured and he had to quit. That's one of the reasons he ended up taking up photography, because it was less strenuous. Plus he has an eye for art and a very good artistic taste, being able to capture the natural beauty of the world around him.” He grinned. “At least, that's how he always puts it.” His grin soon faded though, concern creasing his brow. “How are things over there? How's Willem doing? I would've thought that he would've been here--”

 

“I'm here,” said a drowsy voice from behind Annabel.

 

Annabel turned to see her older brother entering the room from the hallway, his clothes rumpled and old paint sprinkled across his skin. His hair wasn't styled and gelled in its usual fashion, causing sections to hang down in his face. It made the resemblance between the two brothers all the more uncanny.

 

“Willem!” Lysander's face lit up. “I was starting to worry about you.”

 

“Sorry, little brother. I've been having a lot of projects to work on. Senior year and all,” Willem said as he sauntered forward, pulling up a chair on the other side of Annabel and pointedly ignoring Antonio. “How's Mimsy doing?”

 

Lysander nodded in understanding. “She's doing good. Xio's been really attached to her. He even bought her a companion, since he started feeling bad that he and I wouldn't be able to spend as much time with her as we would like, considering how busy both of us are starting to get with our own projects. He didn't want her to end up getting lonely, so he found a really pretty dark brown and white rabbit that she gets along with really well.”

 

Willem's shoulders relaxed as if a heavy weight had been lifted from them. “That's good. Remind me to thank Xio again next time. I'm sorry that you've been having to take care of her for so long--”

 

“Will, it's fine,” Lysander reassured him.

 

Annabel glanced between her brothers, eyebrows scrunching together partially in confusion and partially with hurt. It felt like she had been left out of some sort of loop that the two seemed to be sharing, because this was the first time that she had even heard of Xio, while Willem already conversed as though he’s been able to speak to Xio and had known about him for far longer than Annabel had.

 

A sigh escaped Willem’s lips as he eventually nodded, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

Lysander bit his lip, glancing between the three before turning to Willem once again. “Are you okay? Something seems off. Did something happen?”

 

Running a hand through his hair, their older brother sighed. “I’m fine, Lys. Don’t worry, okay? It’s just stress between the school projects and one of our big soccer games coming up. Plus the bonfire tonight…” Pinching the bridge of his nose, Willem hauled himself to his feet. “I should go start getting cleaned up and ready for that… I’ll talk to you later, Lys.”

 

“But Will--” Lysander tried to interject, but Willem had already trudged out of the room.

 

Annabel frowned, looking back over at Lysander and wishing not for the first time that she could reach out and hug her little brother.

 

“Don’t take it too personally, Lu-Lu,” Antonio spoke up, attempting to offer what words of reassurance that he could. “Willem…” He hesitated, glancing over at Annabel and squeezing her shoulder. He was waiting for her permission to say anything. She nodded, squeezing his hand gently in return. “Willem has been acting this way for quite a while. He’s been very distant and prone to snapping at people. A lot of it has to do with something that he had ended up telling Annabel over a week ago. Do you know his roommate? Mathias?”

 

Lysander tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowing together. “Of course I know Mathias. Willem used to talk about him all the time before he went off to college. Why? Did something happen to him?”

 

“We don’t know how true it is, but… Well, you know that Mathias is in a relationship with Lukas, right?” Annabel interjected, twisting her fingers anxiously into the hem of her shirt. “Willem ended up saying something that’s made us think that Lukas might be hurting Mathias, other than the usual emotional stuff that they go through.”

 

At that, Lysander leaned forward, a deep frown on his lips and his eyes darkening. “Do you have any proof?”

 

“W-Well, no--”

 

“Actually,” Antonio interrupted, a grim expression on his face that made Annabel’s heart sink in her chest, “Gillian ended up overhearing Mathias and Lukas having one of their squabbles before their hockey meeting yesterday, and apparently Lukas ended up slapping Mathias. Gillian told Christopher, and Christopher found Mathias to confirm it. Chris told me when we were back in our dorm.” Sighing, he sank in his chair. “Unfortunately, there’s nothing that we can really do about it, especially when Mathias is unwilling to leave Lukas or say anything to anybody. He just keeps trying to cover up the fact that anything’s wrong with the relationship because he apparently told Gillian that he cares too much about Lukas to just leave...”

 

Annabel blinked in surprise, her jaw dropping. Suspecting the fact that Mathias was being hurt was one thing, but to end up having physical proof that it was happening felt like a punch to her stomach. She wanted to be sick. She  _ felt _ like she was going to end up being sick. Bile rose in her throat as another thought flooded her mind. It left her lips as a horrified whisper. “...Lukas is going to be at the bonfire…”

 

Antonio’s grip tightened around her shoulders as he peppered kisses across her cheek and temple. His fingers gently caressed her cheek when she turned and pressed her face into his chest. “Hey, shh, I’m not going to let anything happen to you. You’re going to stay next to me and around Christopher. I know Gillian’s going to be trying his best to keep Lukas distracted, but even  _ he _ can only do so much on his own. Unless Mathias ended up telling him, then Lukas doesn’t know that we know, and we can’t risk raising his suspicions. Otherwise, he might end up trying to do something to us or anyone who gets involved too.”

 

Annabel glanced up at her boyfriend, noticing that his gaze was fixed on Lysander. Her brother’s shoulders were tense, but he looked tired and defeated.

 

“I really do wish that there was something that I could do to help,” he murmured, running his hands back through his hair. “It's not fair that Willem's trying to deal with it on his own when he's already gone through so much. Especially for  _ us _ . I'll try to get him to talk to me and open up about everything, but there's only so much that I can end up doing on my end. He has to want to open up too… And if Mathias is being just as stubborn as Willem is, then I don't know… I'm not sure what all I'd be capable of doing…”

 

Antonio shook his head, smiling gently. “You’re doing what you can. The fact that you want to help is enough. We'll let you know if there's anything that you're able to do. I promise.”

 

And Annabel knew that Antonio always kept his promises.

 

Lysander slowly nodded, sinking into his chair with a sigh. “Alright. Alright… That works. You have my number in case you need it, right? If not, Annabel can give it to you when you guys aren’t busy.”

 

“I’ll make sure that he has it,” Annabel confirmed, patting Antonio’s leg. “And we’ll let you know if there’s anything else that happens, and how things are going with our brother, and everything else too.”

 

“I just really hope that Willem hasn’t bitten off more than he can chew,” Lysander murmured, rubbing his face. His shoulders heaving with a heavy sigh, he opened his mouth to speak again, but he was cut off by a voice in the background.

 

“Hey, Lys! I made us some lunch. Get your ass in here before it gets cold,” Xio’s voice called out from the other room. “If you let it go to waste, I’ll shove ice down your shirt again!”

 

A fond smile spread across Lysander’s lips, his eyes brightening a bit. “I guess I’ll have to talk to you guys later then. I hope you have fun at the bonfire. Let me know how things go and if there’s anything else that happens, or if there’s anything that I can do.”

 

“Alright, Lu-Lu. We will. I love you,” Annabel said, blowing him a kiss and smiling when he returned it.

 

“I love you too, sis. Talk to you soon.” He lifted a hand and waved. “Bye, Antonio.”

 

“ _ Adios, hermanito _ . Stay safe.”

 

“Will do. You too.”

 

Annabel sighed as the call ended, turning off her laptop with a frown. “I don’t like this, Tonio.”

 

She didn’t like the idea that people were getting hurt. Their friends. Their  _ family _ . The fact that they were all so entangled with somebody who was so despicable and abusive… She hated that there wasn’t anything that they could do, and she hated that Mathias wasn’t willing to get out of the situation that he was in. To be constantly hurt by somebody that he trusted and cared about…

 

Annabel knew what that was like. She had been in a relationship in highschool with somebody that acted similar to how Lukas treated Mathias. Things had started out well enough, but the guy had been quick to show his true colors whenever he didn’t get his way, or if she ended up acting or saying something in a way that he didn’t like.

 

The first slap had been passed off as an accident. A slip of the hand. The second and third and fourth ones Annabel knew were deliberate, but she still clung naively onto the hope that he would stop. The fifth time was a punch that gave her a bloody nose and a threat to stab her. That was when she knew that things would only get worse. That was when Willem found out.

 

Annabel would never forget the livid expression of pure hatred that had been on her brother’s face whenever he saw what had been done. He had barely managed to tell her to watch Lysander before storming out of the house.

 

When she went to school the next day, the guy she had been with was limping and his face was a swollen mosaic of black and purple and blue. He avoided her like the plague. Annabel knew what had happened without having to be told anything.

 

Two weeks later, the guy was arrested for beating another girl to death.

 

She gave Willem a hug the next time that she saw her brother. No words needed to be said.

 

Antonio sighed, wrapping his arms more tightly around Annabel and drawing her close to him. “I know you don’t,  _ mi princesa _ , but I won’t let anything happen to you. I swear it on my life. We’ll figure everything out. Just stay strong and be brave. I’ll be by your side the entire night. Let’s just focus on having a good time. We have a victory coming up, after all. Now’s a time for celebration.” Standing up, Antonio held out his hand for her. “Come. We must get ready. Plus we need to help Christopher load up all of the food that he made for the bonfire.”

 

Annabel rubbed her nose on the back of her hand, sniffling before she took Antonio’s hand with a smile. “You’re right. I completely forgot about the food. Didn't he end up making, like, a hundred cookies or something like that?” she asked, picking the laptop up and nestling it in the crook of her arm as she leaned against Antonio.

 

He laughed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Closer to around two hundred, and they've been sitting in our dorm for the past couple of days. If he wasn't my best friend, I would say that he was trying to kill me with the temptation.” Nudging her along as they began heading to his dorm, he added, “Jason's going to be bringing burgers to grill up. Daniel said he and his sister Eliza were going to be bringing pasta salad and potato salad. Gil's going to bring some wursts for people who don't want burgers. I can’t remember who was going to be bringing the chips and drinks though, but that’s okay. We’re going to have a relaxing time, and we’re going to try-- No, we  _ are _ going to have fun!” Antonio exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Annabel and lifting her off the ground as he spun them around.

 

Laughter spilled from her lips at his excitement and from the giddy warmth that nestled itself in her chest as Antonio placed her back on her feet. She trusted him with her life. She also knew how much of an inner-child that he had. If he said that they were going to have fun, then they were going to have fun.

 

“Well, then lead on, my good sir,” Annabel stated, giving a small curtsy and a huge grin.

 

Antonio’s smile softened, his expression fond. He bowed, the motion formal and elegant as though he had effortlessly done so many times before. A kiss was pressed to the back of Annabel’s hand. Her knight. “It would be my honor, my lady.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody, Celosia here!  
> This is an original story that I've been wanting to do for some time and have finally been having some free time to be able to actually write again and to work on it.  
> In addition to AO3, I will be posting this story on other sites as well. The big two sites that I will be uploading to are Tapas.io (because I do eventually want to make a comic adaptation of this novel once it is completed) and Inkitt (for the chance to be able to release a physical publication of the book).  
> For any of you who would like to support the future of this novel, I would greatly appreciate it if you checked out those sites!  
> As always, happy reading, and I look forward to posting more soon!


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